I was at my balcony facing the morning sun, drinking my black tea with milk and honey not forgetting scones, jam and cream from my best friend when Megan called me.

Her voiced was calm but I can sense trouble in it.

This was she told me.

Megan story:

I wake up this morning, I have couples of restless dream. One of them is I see two guys are arguing then they are fighting. Both of them jump from a very high building, both are dead. In the dream I was felling sad…why two smart men jump without thinking, they are dentists. They shouldn’t do foolish thing.

I do my morning devotional, have my simple breakfast fruits and a slice of whole wheat bread, warm honey water not forgetting my supplements.

I open my phone. I received WhatsApp someone that I knew well passed away of heart attack in his early forties, still young. My heart sink and sad suddenly comes in. Many more WhatsApp came in with the same news.

I sat on my bed trying to understand all this, I felt troubled.

Why God….? Why he died so fast? I felt a bit of regret.

Lord he has all the secret, he is the life witnesses of what had happened in my life and he has secret sin he hid.

I know why I’m feeling like this, I think I was hoping one day he will open his mouth to tell the truth that my ex husband is a gay, he knew exactly all the misconduct, the lies that they covered.

Moreover he has an affair years ago and the woman was gave birth a son for him. This affair and the child was keep in secret by all in the church, they said it’s only a gossip.

All the persons involved in these secret are pastors. They denied that they are gay. The leadership is covering each other hidden life.

Now he is dead, he won’t be able to tell the truth.

What an unveiled secret he is carried even unto death.

I take a deep breath when I heard what Megan said. I was with her during the dark, difficult times of her life. We both have hope one day God will unveil these and give Megan vindication and justification.

I understand her sadness when this man die.

We take a moment to pray, she needs her peace back.

Abba Father let us know Your heart in this, let’s us perceive what is in Your mind.

This is what I get.

The fact that Megan face its seems her hope also die as the person died. The years that she is been waiting will get longer until the truth is reveal.

What we don’t know is….. God is working, not once He is stop working, only we can’t see it.

All these years we don’t know what has happened to those people. We only need to trust Him. He is the holy God, the judge God and the loving God.

I told Megan let go of this matter, look forward. When?? How ?? Leave it to God.

Asking questions you don’t know the answers only brings heartache.

When we can’t see the hands of God, see the heart of God.

When David was a teenager, he was anointed as the next king of Israel. He faced Goliath, run for his life because of Saul, lived in the desert so unfair, fought many battles. Almost 15 years later finally he actually became king.

What we want is now, the time is now. God has all the time.

Those long 15 years He used it to prepare David to be the greatest king of Israel.

Megan, just wait a little bit longer. The Lord Jesus is shaping you to be His precious gem for His glory and other surround you.

The verse from Colossians speaks right into my soul.

Colossians 3:12-14 TPT

You are always and dearly loved by God! So robe yourself with virtues of God, since you have been divinely chosen to be holy. Be merciful as you endeavor to understand others, and be compassionate, showing kindness toward all. Be gentle and humble, unoffendable in your patience with others. Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith,

For love is supreme and must flow through each of these virtues. Love becomes the mark of true maturity.

Megan, you are ALWAYS love by God. 24/7, His love for you there isn’t a moment He stop loving you. The psalmist say He neither slumber nor sleep.

His love towards you is DEARLY….wow! Psalms 23: 2 His love is luxurious….wow …..wow.

* Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith.

Megan, you wanted this person when he was a life to tell everyone the truth about the homosexuality in the church involving the pastors and other young men. You wanted him to confess his affair when he is the worship leader then became the assistant pastor. But he kept his mouth shut and denied both cases.

Let’s understand him. That adultery was his weakness. Another weakness, he was a coward, he was afraid what’s going to happen to his life if he confessed in front of the church. He didn’t want his reputation ruin, he didn’t want people to know his son. He still secretly meet his son, he didn’t want acknowledgment his son publicly. He was afraid how to make a living if the church not paying his salary anymore.

Megan, these doesn’t mean you are okay with his double life, you just need to understand he is a human who has fear. God will do the rest. His life accountability is to God.

* forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them.

Megan, you know exactly my life journey right?

I learned what is forgiveness.

1) I have to forgive someone with the same standard as Jesus forgiven me…graciously.

2) When I say I forgive someone that forgiveness I must release it as a gift, as a present. So forgiveness is my present to people who wrong me. As it was a gift/present from Jesus to me. I just need to receive it without doing anything, Jesus done it all, the scourging, the crowned, the nail on His hands and feet, the piercing.

It’s raise a bar the way I forgive others. And let go the person of all charge as I give the gift/present. Make my soul warm with peace.

My face smile with victory.

Thank you Jesus for enabling me.

You can do it also Megan. I know you did.

We end the conversation with tears of thankfulness. Thank you Abba Father for a good, good friend where we can share our heart without being judge. We can share our secret without being shame. We can be in our weak moment without being afraid they will leave us.

Olive, how about the unveiled secret ?

Matthew 10:26 Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.

God will not bring you this far to leave you.

I woke up at three am and this thought came to me. “Broken heart.” I sighed…..

Did I ever had broken heart? O yeah….

I was thirteen years old and I already conquered the highest mountain in my region. With a group of climbers we went to conquer the highest mountain in another region.

There were new people that I didn’t know. We made our tents at the foot of the mountain.

We always hiked at night to reach the peak at sunrise. It’s a cold night, smoke came out from our mouth when we speak.

We were greeted by the sweet smell that I never forgotten. It’s mean we almost reach the top. Far in the horizon a light pierce darkness, the dark sky slowly became brighter and brighter, a new dawn, a new day.

Then I can see Edelweiss flowers all over the mountain, flowers that gives such a sweet fragrance. White…small…beautiful. Long lasting flowers.

“Edelweiss, Edelweiss

Every morning you greet me

Small and white, clean and bright

You look happy to meet me….”

( I hummed the song )

At night we had bonfire. I heard they were talking very enthusiasm.

I joined them. I saw a young man was speaking about God. Ho…ho….interesting.

I wasn’t religious, my mom took us ( me and my siblings) to church though. Very seldom a young man have faith in God and on fire.

We get to know each other. And he went to the same church as my mom took me. He spoke about God all the time.

He said he likes me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I was a fighter…. I thought it’s good for me to be with him, he can help me to be a better girl.

We went to church together, we joined bible class together. We went to watch movie once. Then he disappeared…..never came to my house again. Avoided to meet me. No words…no explanation.

He broke my heart.

BUT he messed up with a wrong girl.

Soon I found out he has many girlfriends beside me and from time to time he visited prostitute.

I raged in anger…wait for my vengeance.

I wanted him dead. I arranged something ( I won’t tell in here ) to bring him down and using his parents. He didn’t die that night only ended in hospital.

Four years later I accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior.

Thank God he didn’t die….so I wasn’t a murderer. By the way he didn’t know it was me. I never met him until today.

I was at the second year of college, me and few friends made a gathering for students, once a week we met in the evening for worship and bible study.

Started with only 8 of us until almost 200 young people. My friend was kindly enough to use her house, we all sat on the floor, full house. Her mom provided drink and snacks.

There I met a young men, honest and simple. He came to my house often. We like each other. He asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes.

My mom likes him. I met all his family too. We love each other, we serve the Lord together.

He graduated college and going overseas for further study. Before he went he wrote me a letter.

He wrote, he loves me but he loves God more, he wanted to become a priest, a Catholic priest, which is can’t married. He broke my heart so much.

Many tears for many days, months.

I’ve got permission from my friend to write these stories below.

Ginny went overseas as an exchange student when she met the tallest man at the school. They Skype and talked on the phone regularly. They were good friends. They decided to have long distance relationship. She even help him with money when he lost his job. One day on her business trip she visited him. What a surprised, he divorced and have three children. What broke Ginny heart was he has a girlfriend and never had intention to marry her.

Gwen divorced her husband because he chosen a man over her. She was wounded badly. Only with God helped she is able to continue her life. Her friends from school encouraged her to marry again, start a new life.

They suggested online dating, she hesitated. They were willing to pay for her fee.

She met a man through online. He lives overseas. The conversation was intense, he serious and caring. But somehow he kept avoiding conversation to meet. Then he sent a wrong messaged to her. She found out he has girlfriend that lives with him. That broke her heart so much and also thank God she knew it early.

Glenna is in her late forties. Someone introduced her with a divorced man older than her. He leaves overseas. From one friend to another friend who knew this man. They didn’t approve her relationship. But every time he showed proof his integrity. He came to see her, he treated her the best, payed for everything. One things disturbed her, he always on the phone texting, day and night. One time he was upset after reading his text message and throw his phone. He began to curse that person “she”. His phone keeps ringing. He picked up and shout I’m finished with you, I never loved you, we are friend !!!

It shocked my friend. Later on she looked at his phone, he was chatting romantically with more than five women at the same time. She left him, no turning back. Being deceived was break her heart the most.

Do you ever felt heart broken? Felt the pain inside your heart like a dagger plunge deep in your chest. You tried to pull it but can’t , the pain, the hurt, the sadness stayed. I did.

I ate ice creams to ease the pain, hoping it would cooling down my pain. The pain stayed.

I watched melancholic drama, cried when they cried, hoping when the film finished with a happy ending, so am I. But the sadness remained.

I showed kindness and generosity to others in need, hoping their smile would bring me some comfort. It did not. It brought questions, can I be happy like them?

I met my friends and poured out my pain, hoping they were understand. Seems like they were but only on the surface. Added more hurt because they said you will get over it. I want too but how?

How to get rid of this hurt?

How to take it out and throw it to the deep sea so it won’t swim back to me?

How to remember it and not bring pain?

How to sleep without tears keep flowing down my cheeks?

How to live again?

How to love again?

Broken heart didn’t always the result of the relationship between man and woman. Could be with anyone relationship, parents and children, between in laws, between colleagues, can happen as long as human being is involved.

Could happened at young age too. I knew a respectable woman, long ago we used to work together. She is very intelligent, graduated from a very prestigious university. She told the story of her life.

Demmy was born from a wealthy family. When she was born her parents expecting a baby boy instead of a girl.

When she was toddler they sent her to her grandparents home in a small town. She was back to her parents house when she was twelve years old.

Demmy’s heart was broken, scattered into pieces.

She cried, she screamed, she long for her mother…..her voice was in vain.

She decided to be a child that bring proud to her parents, they will never ever disappointed to have her as their child.

She was very competitive, her brain is above average, very tuft girl. Whatever her mind set a goal surely she will make sure it happened.

She was always above anyone else, she made a company and hired smart men. She determined to have power over them.

She didn’t want to hear what people said, they have to listen to her.

Throwing up her anger was her daily routine.

One time she looked at this powerful man, a man who has authority. He already married but it didn’t stop her. Yes, she had him for sometime but the man didn’t want to marry her, only kept her as his mistress.

She did have other relationship, all ended with a sad ending. She never married until know.

She hid her broken heart by looked strong.

Luke 10:38-42 NKJV

Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at JESUS FEET and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary HAS CHOSEN that GOOD PART, WHICH WILL NOT BE TAKEN AWAY FROM HER.”

Psalms 147:3 NKJV

HE HEALS the BROKENHEARTED And BIND UP their WOUNDS.

Psalms 147:3 TPT

HE HEALS the WOUNDS of EVERY SHATTERED HEART.

I’ve found my answer. I gave all my hurt, my pain, all I poured out to God, nothing I hid. I laid it all at His feet.

Yes it was a precious moment. I let Him comfort me. I let Him heals me. I can feel He pull away the dagger in my chest and bind the hole with His love.

I felt warm in my heart, like the blood is starting to pump again. Pieces of my shattered heart mend, I felt life again.

A new heart beat in me.

That moment will not be taken from me, never, forever. It was mine…the moment He touched and healed me.

The memory of those hurt no longer disturb my sleep and my peace.

As simple as that. His Words won’t disappoint.

I had a list of what I would like to train my child far before I got married. One of them was I do not want my child fear of the dark.

By God’s Grace I have two children Rose and El Prince. Since they both going home from the hospital they were sleeping with me. During sleeping time at night I always switch off the light totally…..the room was dark.

I want them to get use to it and not scared of the dark night.

During their young age if suddenly the light was off in the room wherever they are, they won’t scream because of fear. Even if it’s happened when they were somewhere else.

If they have to walk passed by a dark street they also didn’t backward they keep walking.

They used to it since their babies. If they woke up at night and cried I was beside them and with my voice I calm them down….

“Mama is here Rose….mama is here El Prince.” My hand will touch their hand or their heart.

I wanted them to know that they weren’t alone or left abandoned. I was there with them, I was building their trust in me and their own confidence that all it’s okay.

When they are toddler if I have to do something outside the room or I have to go for a while, before they slept I told them, “Mama will be cooking in the kitchen so when you are wake up and you don’t see me don’t cry okay…make a noise and mama will come to see you or mama have to go and be back in couple hours when you wake up and only see someone else you know that mama is not at home and will back soon.”

They can count on my me, on my words.

I’m proud actually for the result they turn to be like now.

Further more that kind of relationship I would like them to have with The Lord.

To trust and always know for sure He is always there every second of their life even when things seems dark.

To trust His word, what He said is only the truth and will come true, there aren’t such as a broken promises.

We all know that in this world life not always great, there were times we were in shadow of darkness. Sometimes we felt it’s really dark road we have to walk through without knowing the end.

We have to have something within us to cling on tightly so we won’t disappear in the darkness and lost.

For my children when they are young was my presence and my words were they assurance.

How about when they are grow bigger, they need more than just mama. This world is huge and moving fast. They should have and must have the strongest assurance.

Whose words is stronger than mine lol.

Of course God, none else.

Martin Luther King, jr said “ Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.”

Yes absolutely right.

Genesis 1:3-4

Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.

1 John 1:5

…..that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all.

John 8:12

Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world.”

Psalm 44:3

…..But Your right hand and Your arm and the light of Your presence,

God said I’m the light of the world, means;

– the source of light of this world is not the sun but God

– this world is in darkness without God

When He created the light it was good and God is good.

God separated light from darkness, in Him is no darkness. In Him only light and there is His presence.

In every dark moment I wanna them to look for the light.

In every temptation I wanna them to stay in the light.

In God only.

Where they heart would be warm and comforted.

Where their soul will have hope and assurance.

Psalm 139:11-12 TPT

It’s impossible to disappear from you

or to ask the darkness to hide me,

for your presence is everywhere, bringing light into my night.

There is no such thing as darkness with you.

The night, to you, is as bright as the day;

there’s no difference between the two.

I’m glad that I cannot disappear from God even there were times when I wanted to. In Jesus we will always be in the light, no dead end,He will shine a way for me.

He will always found me, I won’t be lost.

As I trained my children not to fear the dark. Discipline yourself to stay in the light by choice.

John 3:19-21 TPT

And here is the basis for their judgment: The Light of God has now come into the world, but the people loved darkness more than the Light, because they want the darkness to conceal their evil. So the wicked hate the Light and try to hide from it, for the Light fully exposes their lives. But those who love the truth will come into the Light, for the Light will reveal that it was God who produced their fruitful works.

My dear friend let’s choose the light, choose God and His path.

Love Him and you will hate darkness deeds.

Two days before the whole world under lockdown I was in a foreign country. My friend flew from Europe and we met in the middle. I arranged my flight to arrive not long after her flight so we can meet up at the airport and journey together.

We have a great time together after a year not seeing each other. We ate good food and enjoyed our time with much laughter.

Then we heard the news of lockdown my friend quickly arrange her ticket back to her home country. I managed to get out of the country and flew to another country. Turned out it was a long lockdown. The whole world was in lockdown.

The city where I stayed the roads and streets were quiet no people pass by, shops were closed. 

With a little bit that I have, I went down to the small streets and found people who needs help, I distributed food for them. Of course I was wearing a mask. People were very thankful for the meal. They can safe money for their family.

In the place that I was staying people were friendly and very hospitable. They cooked for me, others sent me vegetables, fruits, breads, tea, snacks and many kind of good food.I was grateful and thankful for His provision.

I can still do my ministry through zoom. Get to know new friends from all over the world. Like travel in time….in a second I can be in a different cities and countries.There are many free class and courses too. Stay at home after all not bad actually.

One year passed without going anywhere. Slowly more places and countries open up, people began their activities again. One time I took a car drive around the city…..the feeling to see people was overwhelming. Life is moving on….

Then the vaccine finally available. Yes they are pro and contra. I’ve got my first vaccination. They done it well…all super well organized….free for everyone.I’ve no side effects from the vaccine….all good as usual.

I was invited by my good friend for lunch at her house, I came. It was nice to see her face again after many months. We sat at dining table and have great lunch. In the next few months her daughter is getting married, she is trying to loose weight by drinking lemon juice every morning and it’s cause her bad gastric and weak a bit. It was Tuesday when we had lunch.
By Saturday she texted me she tested positive of Covid, her daughter as well. I did have a bit of coughing, the next day I tested too and the result I was positive as well.bHer other daughter is a doctor so she sent me all the medications, antibiotics and Vitamins that’s necessary. I was in good condition so she advised me just stay at home and isolate myself for fourteen days. My oxygen saturation also very good.

Two days after that I have a thought that’s better for me to be in the hospital because I’m alone at home. At least there are doctors and nurses and they will take care of my meals as well. My friend’s daughter found a hospital for me and her husband pick me up and brought me to the hospital.
From outside is just a simple hospital but inside wow very good….They were four people in the room but two were out that day so left three of us. We have to wear mask all the time including when we sleep except when we were taking a shower. I spent most of my time sleep and sleep. Actually I felt better and happier in the hospital, to see and talk to people instead alone by myself.

I thank God and very grateful for such a caring and friendly nurses….they were there 24/7 for three of us…The hospital took X-ray two times for me and blood test as well beside regular checks three times a day. I did not have fever only coughing.

At the hospital I called my brother overseas to let him know if anything happened to me….what to do and how to do it. I prepared myself…even though my health situation was good. 

Some close friends were very kind to send everything I need during my stay in the hospital…every day I will get a package from them, somehow…made the other two of my new friends in the room jealous hahhahahhah.

On the eighth day they were three others came in. Two of them were an old lady  and her granddaughter.The old lady was very funny and “naughty”, she always said wanna go home and pull out her infusion, hid her medication etc…She was bringing laughter in our room.

By the ten day they discharged me…all free of charge, I didn’t pay a single cent. Thanks to God and the government, health department. My friend pick me up and brought me home. Very happy to be home again and healthy. Praise the Lord my friend and her daughter also well. I was tested negative by the eleven day. Thank you Jesus.

I rested well at home and ate healthy food and I recover well. Hallelujah.
After I back home friends still sending me food so I didn’t need to cook. Grace and favor are flowing never stop even until I write this.
Btw after I went home I sanitized the whole household, my friend sending me the sanitizer. All has been prepared, very thankful. 

Three months after that I’ve got my second vaccination. I’m in a very good health now, exercising six days out of seven, taking all the supplements such as vitamin D+K, C, probiotic, Calcium and other as need it.

After this experience I felt like God gave me a new life to live better than before. Life is precious, breath is from Him alone. He is the one who breath His life into me.

After almost two years of the pandemic I lost many friends…..they lost the battle and when with the Lord. It was very sad but the good side is they are happy above there no more pain, hurt and sorrow. Which I’m glad for them.
Me and my friends been having many zoom healing meetings all over the world. And I witnessed how God the healer accelerated healing from people who got covid, many miracles.

Not only covid cases, at least two blinds person received their healing, one lady who can’t see and read begin to read clearly even to the smallest alphabet. Ears open up, bleeding for eight years was stop. People who can’t walk they walk again, a lady after stroke started to walk by herself and waking fast in the zoom. Besides many back pain, stomach pain and others healing.

Really our God the Lord of army angels is on the move and move faster and mighty. Healing are everywhere and available for everyone. He is remain the same like two thousand years ago when He walked on this earth to healed everyone who come to Him as is today.

My friend come to Him, call on Jesus name and get your healing, emotionally and physically now.

I would like to paste some scriptures from The Passion Translation.

Matthew 4: 23-24Jesus ministered from place to place throughout all of the province of Galilee. He taught  in the synagogues, preaching the wonderful news of the kingdom and HEALING EVERY KIND of SICKNESS and DISEASE among the people.His fame spread throughout all Syria! Many people who were in PAIN and suffering with every kind of ILLNESS  were brought to Jesus for their healing, EPILEPTICS, PARALYTICS, and those TORMENTED by demonic powers were ALL SET FREE . Everyone who was brought to Jesus was healed!

Matthew 8:16…….and everyone who was SICK received their HEALING!

Matthew 9:35……wherever he went he demonstrated God’s power by HEALING every kind of disease and illness.

Matthew 12:15……Massive crowds followed him from there, and he HEALED ALL who were sick.

Matthew 14:14 & 36So when Jesus landed he had a huge crowd waiting for him. Seeing so many people, his heart was deeply moved with compassion toward them, so he HEALED ALL the sick who were in the crowd.
So they brought him all their sick, begging him to let them touch the fringe of his cloak. And everyone who touched it was INSTANTLY HEALED ! 

Matthew 15:30Then huge crowds of people streamed up the hill, bringing with them the lame, blind, deformed, mute, and many others in need of healing. They laid them at Jesus’ feet and he HEALED them ALL.

Matthew 19:2Massive crowds followed him and he HEALED ALL who were sick.

Matthew 21:14Then the blind and the crippled came into the temple courts, and Jesus HEALED them ALL. And the children circled around him shouting out, “Blessings and praises to the Son of David!”

My friend your healing is as near as you call on His name and His name is Jesus!

• 

Psalm 127:4-5 

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court.

El Prince will leave to the university in six months. As mom I tried my best to prepare him. I thought him all household errands, cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, folding clothes. How to cook all his favorite food. 
We went to a supermarket. In a quest to show him fruits, vegetables, spices all kind of things with all the names. He was 15 at that time.

He asked me how to choose a good fruit? The ripe one, the sweet one? Hmmm good question. “Honestly, mom doesn’t know. I am not good in this. Every time I prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to help me. Then I chose what my eyes delight and my hands touched it’s good.” He smiled and said good idea, mom.

Since my children were small they knew if they came to mom for questions, for help, for anything. If I didn’t have the answer, I always say I will pray or let’s us pray. Pray was the word and the posture they always hear and see.

I didn’t chase them away when my time to pray. I let them play in the room. They never disturbed me, I think they knew because they played quietly or just lay down near me. Every meal time I pray with them since they were baby. 

As they grow bigger we prayed together. I open a map of our country and teach them to pray for cities, nation and people. I open a map of the world and let them pick which country they want to pray. Which people group they want to pray. Listen to the news and pray after we heard things that happened in the world. I want them to know how to pray and there isn’t such things of what to pray. I want them to experience first hand what they prayed is matter to God, God hears and God answers. I involved them to pray for sick people. I let them lay hand to them without fear. 

My desire is my children will fulfill the divine destiny that God has for them in their life time. 
I equipped them with what I think they needed to hit the bull eye. Of course Rose and El Prince have different divine destiny. But I sure each have a huge and awesome purpose in this lifetime. 

Every night since they were babies I read them bible stories. When they can read I encouraged them to read it every day and every other day I chose a chapter, we read and let them shared which verse spoke to them. 

I bought a globe to show them the world is large, pointed where we are and how far we can go. Rose loves traveling, when I write this she has been travelled to 43 countries. I took them for an adventure up high to the mountain, sea, rafting, swimming, many more.

I also taught and played with them many games; Chess, UNO, Scrabble, Monopoly, Checkers and more.

For each them I trained and taught different arrowhead. I introduced and encouraged them to try new things as they like to do. All those will become their arrowheads to their divine destiny. 

I would like to share one of the arrowhead, prayer.

I wanna buy a new winter coat, the one that I was wearing is time to rest, lol. I have been looking around for few moths, still can’t find that I like. Winter is still months ahead so I’m not in a hurry. One afternoon after Rose has finished work, we went to the city. I like one long coat with a hoody, I never had coat with a hoody before, I just don’t like my hair get messy underneath it hahhahahhah.They have four colors; black, brown, navy blue and dark green. I tried it all and brown is the nicest on me. The price was 149,99$ not expensive at all for such long coat. But I was hesitated because this coat is bulky, bubbling coat. They have nice rubber belt at the waist so it’s quite slim and feminine. But still not my first choice. I said to Rose, I don’t really need it now let’s wait until it’s on sale. She answered, “Mom, you might not get the color that you want in your size.” “It’s okay.” I replied.

About two months after that, it was Sunday we were at the mall for lunch after church. We spent the afternoon watched a movie. By the end of it it’s time for dinner, when we walk to the restaurant there is the shop who sell the coat. Lucas said, don’t you want to look mom, maybe it’s on sale now. So I went to the shop by myself while they line up at the restaurant.

Surprise….surprise…the coat is already on sale, now is 74,99$. I was very happy. Less than 2 months they already sell that half price and winter is still couple months. I looked at the racks, only left black and green. Not one brown at all. All green in XL size, all black in S size. I quickly walked to my children, they were still in the line. I told Rose to check online shop and see if they have brown color and size S, my size. She did it, they don’t have brown color at all, only black in L size. Lucas encouraged me to go back to the shop and just buy the black one in my size. I did it and put on the black coat, I didn’t like, it’s look not nice on me. I back to them, they were still in the line. After dinner, Lucas wanted me to go back to the shop. I checked at their counter if they can find the brown coat with size S in their shops in town or in different suburbs. The guy kind enough to check, sadly not one brown coat in store.
I just let the coat things go.

On Thursday morning when I was singing a worship song to put my grandson Adriel to sleep. I heard in my ears audible voice. I knew is God. “Olive, do you want the brown coat?” I said in my heart…hmm….I like it but a little bit bulky. I heard His voice again. “Olive, do you want the brown coat?” I knew from the past experienced if God spoke more than once must be very important, I have to pay attention. I answered, “Yes Abba Father I want the coat.” He said, “Open the website of the coat.” I quickly looked for my phone, where I put it? With my left hand I hold Adriel bottle’s milk, my right hand hold the phone. I never bought things online, I didn’t know what to open or how. I googled, tried to open here and there. Finally I got the website. I looked for the women coat…not easy for me. I a bit panicked. Then…I found it. Yes I saw the coat and they have it in brown and S size, my size. I also see the black color all in L size. I didn’t know how to order it. I put down the phone. I used pillows and blanket to hold the bottle, I didn’t want Adriel wakes up. I ran down the stairs, Rose was downstairs. I told her fast and asked her to open the website. She screamed, “Mom, your brown coat on sale and have your size. Do you want it?” “Yes, please buy it for me. Thank you.” I rushed back to Adriel, he still in deep sleep.
Rose sent me the confirmation of the coat through my email. Then out of curiosity I opened again the website…..wow now they don’t have any coat, no brown….no black. Seems just know only for me. 

It was Thursday…..Friday….Saturday was weekend….Sunday. Monday just before lunch, the bell rang. My coat in my hand now. So excited. I can’t wait to open the package. They packed it very neatly. They sealed the plastic, inside they wrapped with paper. Yeah….my brown coat, I put it on….looked at the mirror. Still can’t believe it. I checked no brown coat S size anywhere but now I have one in my hand. In my mind maybe someone bought and she didn’t like it and returned it. But the coat wrapped like never been open, also the head of the zip and the buttons each wrapped like if you bought branded item. It’s totally new prepared from my Heavenly Father for me. Thank you Jesus. Praise the Lord! Rose said, “Mom, I think God told the angel: Keep one of the brown coat size S for Olive!” Hahhahahhah, true.

This awesome miracle spoke loudly to my children. They were firsthand witnesses of what was impossible when God intervene is possible. Make them see the power of a prayer.

Few days after that we had a lunch with Rose high school friend. She told her friend, ask my mom to pray for you. Let my mom tell you about the coat. If she has friends need a pray, she advised them to speak to me.

Another arrowhead is love. You can read it at my previous blogs, about El Prince.
Proverbs 9:10 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

I want my children to have wisdom in their life but the way to acquire wisdom is to have fear of the Lord. It’s the beginning of wisdom. Fear of the Lord is another arrowhead. Many are misunderstood the word fear of the Lord. We have reverence of the Lord.

I shared to them about how God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16
We are saved by His grace through faith and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, let’s anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9
We love Him because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

In our love toward God we reverence Him, obeying His words. Then He will revealing wisdom that we need in daily life. Very crucial to have wisdom in this chaotic world, uncertainty. 

I share to you one story I won’t ever forget. I was nineteen years old, I believe that God called me to help people who are on drugs. I traveled to a country to join The Teen Challenge, to learn more. I ended travelled to another country who got a lot of drugs cases. I visited drugs rehabilitation centers around the country. I stopped at one town, stayed at my old friends house. We went to Saturday meeting in a church, the service was in Chinese which I don’t know. But I enjoyed the worship. My friend told me there is an English speaking church not far from the house. We spoke till late. The next morning when I was ready to go they all still sleeping. I saw her mother in the kitchen, she only speaks Chinese. I point to my bible and point to the road. She knew. She showed me where was the church.

I walked…so near.
It was a big church. The service was on the second floor. I sat about 5 rows from the back. They knew that I’m new. They were very friendly to me. One of them a lady sat beside me, asking me questions. My name, what am I doing etc. I told her about my mission. She talked a lot. The service started, after few songs the worship leader asked if anyone wanted to give a testimony. No one came forward. While waiting he sang one more. Stop and asked again, still no one, he sang again and stop asking, no one came forward. The lady beside me said, “Olive why don’t you give your testimony, you come from overseas.” I politely said, “No, thank you.” The worship leader kept asking and singing, this lady kept bothering me to give a testimony. Finally I said to her, “Why don’t you give your testimony?” Honestly I felt annoyed by her. She answered me, “Okay I will give mine and after me your turn.” She walked to the front. In my heart I said….I won’t do it. Let her do, anyway after this I won’t be in this town anymore. Guest, what she did. “We have a guest Olive she came from overseas and she will give her testimony.” What!!!! She not even gave her testimony, she told the church I’m going to speak. She put me in the  corner, I walked to the pulpit, shared my testimony in front hundreds of people. By the end of the service the lady gave me the card for her cell group meeting during the weekday. I left the the town by Monday.

A month after that I was station in one of Teen Challenge rehabilitation center in the South. I was there for almost a year. This was a social work, we have no salary. I prayed for provision, I didn’t need much only to buy soap, toothpaste, shampoo all the essentials. I heard a audible voice, “Proverbs 9:10 and write a letter to that lady.” I wasn’t remember her name…she was so annoying. I didn’t have her number and her address. I won’t write to her for help, no way. One week later, God spoke the same thing, write a letter. Okay…God I want wisdom but fear of You is the beginning. I didn’t fully obeying God. He told me to write a letter but I sent a postcard instead. I only have the address of her cell group. I wrote, “Please give this to the lady who sat beside me in the church.” I also mentioned who I am, the girl who gave a testimony. What a surprised, a week later I got a letter from this lady. Asking me what I was doing etc. I wrote a letter about the mission work I do without mentioning about money. A week after that I got another letter from her with 100$ check in it. It was a lot more than enough for me. I stayed one year there, Lee Phaik Im I know her name now, she was a teacher, every month without failed she sent me a 100$ check. A lady that I didn’t like turned up to be my supporter. 

A precious lesson to learn never underestimate people whom you meet. You just don’t know, in the future you could cross path again.

The arrow is Rose and El Prince, my children. The bull eye is the target or goal. The power that pull the bow is Holy Spirit God. The bow is me, I am as a mom is like a tool to direct the arrow to hit the bull eye. The arrowhead are prayer, love, fear of The Lord many others…Art, music, sport, education….you may fill the blank suit to the bull eye. We need wisdom to direct them as God purposes in their life and as their desires. 
Let our children be our joy when their young as well as when they are grown up.

• 

A car stopped at my house that morning, Tiffany my friend at my gate. She asked me to company her to a mall. I was gladly went with her. The day I never forget, I got a gold nugget.

Tiffany also a very good driver and I just learned to drive after Rose was born. Every time she stopped at a junction she said to me, “Remember Olive, you must stop at every junction even though you do not see any car, even though you are in a very quiet neighborhood, even though it’s early morning or late night never assumed that people are sleeping at their home. No matter the situation you must stop! Look at every possible direction, wait….then you can continue drive.” She told me this more than ten times. Until now every time I am driving and stopping at any junction I heard her voice in my memory and stopped. Lol. She said, many unexpected accidents happened because they thought the road was quiet….or this is just a small neighborhood….or they thought only they were driving at this time…But this isn’t the gold nugget I mentioned above.

Back to us in the mall. We walked around and looked at many things. Tiffany looked at shoes, bags, clothes, make up. We spent quiet a bit time on those items. But seems she didn’t sure. Then I asked her, “Are you looking for a present for anyone?” “No! I still thinking what present should I buy for myself? that’s her answered.“ Is today your birthday?” I don’t think it is but I can miss it. She shook her head. “I wanna give a present for myself!” “What’s happened?” I can’t wait to know. “Two days ago I taught mathematics to my son, he is going to have a test the next day. Yesterday Ryan went back from school very happy, he got A for his maths. That’s why I want to give myself a good present because I am a great math teacher!”

Hmmm… I never heard such thing before. Very interesting thought. Gold nugget.
Yes it’s very true. How many times we were upset with others when they didn’t affirm us? How many times we were hurt by our spouse, children, friends when they didn’t remember our birthday? How many times we were feeling disrespected, take for granted when they didn’t even say thank you of all house hold responsibility, cooking, laundering? How many times we were angry when others didn’t appreciate us? How many times we were feeling abandoned when others didn’t remember us, what we did for them? How many times…..the list can keep on and on….

Why others specify my emotion, wether I’m upset or fine, wether I’m hurt or good, wether I am disrespected or appreciated, wether I’m angry or happy, wether I’m feeling abandoned or accepted ???Why my soul have to depend on other people feeling towards me? Why my joy, my happiness have to depend the way people treated me?

Tiffany told me she always give herself present, reward of what she achieved. She bought present for herself for her birthday. Not waiting for her husband to give her a surprise. She made herself happy. She gave pat on her own shoulder. 

It’s changed me. Yes I should be proud of myself, of what I able to accomplish by God’s grace. I started to treat myself better. When I finished my job well, I bought a big cup of ice cream. I gave myself reward and pat on my own shoulder. “Awesome Olive!” “Yes, Olive you do great and you are able.”

Bill Johnson said : if you don’t live by other people praise then you won’t die by their criticism.
What I’m trying to say is, you are responsible of your own happiness. Not blaming others of your unhappiness. Come on!  Cheers yourself up. Give a pat on your own shoulder. 

I wanna tell a story what happened in the Jewish history. Kind of the opposite of what I just told you above.

In the book of Deuteronomy 16:11 ‘You shall rejoice before the Lord your God, you and your son and your daughter, your male servant and your female servant, the Levite who is within your gates, the stranger and the fatherless and the widow who are among you, at the place where the Lord God chooses to make His name abide.’

God commanded His people to rejoice, not a suggestion. 
God also commanded them to celebrate the harvest, the first fruit harvest. At the year of 70 AD the land of Israel was destroyed, and the Jewish people were scattered to many part of the earth. Diaspora. They didn’t plant anymore. No more harvest, no more grain or fruits to be collected. Even though they had no more harvest, they still kept celebrating the first fruits feast. They celebrate, give thanks, rejoice, feasting for nonexistent grain harvest, nonexistent fruit harvest. After almost two thousand years celebrating harvest that not exists. Miraculously. They back to their own land and started to plant again, what a big turn around. Sure enough now they celebrate and rejoice over a real harvest every year. Gold nugget.

People in this world rejoice after seeing the blessing, good things. But we can be different, we rejoice and celebrate before the blessing, before good things we hope for manifested. 

Do not wait to see your blessing in order to rejoice. Do not wait for the present to come in order to give thanks. Do not wait until your circumstances are right in order to be joyful. Do not wait until you become a champion to celebrate your victory. 

Rejoice, give thanks, be joyful and celebrate before it happened. Anticipating of joy. 

I have a suggestion…get a glass of juice/wine…what suit you…Let’s lift up your glass together with me and cheers 🥂

 Rejoice for all the goodness of God that are coming your way.

• 

This happened around 18 years ago. I didn’t watch TV, didn’t listen to the radio and those time we didn’t have either google and WhatsApp.
I told to go to this small island in a country to inaugurate a new church, they said this is the right time and it’s safe because they already signed the peace agreement between two religious politic groups to end the killing. Yes I did hear about the conflict and the war and the killing a bit.

Three of us were going, two of them were men, I was the only woman and the youngest. At that time Rose and El Prince were 15 and 8 years old. They should be fined if I left for ten days mission.

We flew to the main island, landed safety. The country has many islands big and small. I can see from the plane window beautiful beaches, coconut trees but I also see this part of the country not developed yet.

Two men met us at the airport. We were very hungry after a long flight. We’ve been told seafood is fresh and delicious in this place, we look forward to taste it. They put our bags in the car and drove. We thought they were going to take us for a meal. They drove and drove by the way of the sea, I enjoyed the beautiful island but why so quiet? Where are all the people? The longer we drove the more remote and no traffics not even I see people around. 
Not one of us asked a question. My friend finally asking, “Is it possible we stop somewhere and buy food?” One of the men said, “Yes we know you’re all hungry but it’s not safe to stop and eat in this part of the island. We have to cross the “border” between two religious  politic area then we can stop and safe. “What do you mean?” Made me more curious. “This part of the island is belong to the other religion we have to be at Christian area before sundown.” He explained. “I thought they already signed peace agreement, cease fire, cease killing! That’s I heard from the news,” one of us said. “Yes they did but still isn’t safe, there isn’t open war now but still things happen,” he smiled. In my heart I said, ooo Olive….what’s trouble you’re into now. ( I didn’t know number one)

We crossed a small river. “We are on safe ground”, they were saying it happy. The car stopped at very humble food stall, I didn’t remember what I ate and how was the taste….because I was too hungry. And also the two men kept telling us to eat quickly, “We are going to take a boat to reach another island before the sky become dark.”

We drove again, the road was bumpy and many holes. We stop at a small river went down with our bags and sat at a small speedboat.We sailed by the river, nice weather all good. Then the boat went to the open sea….suddenly the roller coaster started. The wave was so high like a mountain, the boat going up following the wave it was thrilled I didn’t mind but…but after that the boat is going down as the wave going down that’s very scary. Seems like the boat jump from a very stiff cliff….down…down…and touch the bottom. I didn’t like it…I want to run…I want to get out of the boat. ( I didn’t know number two)

I prayed hard and thinking what shall I do if the boat sink? I’m not a good swimmer. Should I take out my booth now so it won’t be to heavy in the water? This is an open sea, anything could happened. After one and a half hour up and down the roller coaster wave we reached the island. Thank God we all safe and no one experienced seasick. 
They took us to our place to stay for the next three days. It was a resort. They said the owner is kind enough to let us stay there for free.
When I walked around I see no one….I see rooms were empty no body stayed. The glass windows were broken, some doors were not there anymore. This is an abandoned resort. Looks like during the conflict they left and since then never been opened. 

They gave us three keys, I took one. Open the door, the key went in but the door didn’t want to open….I tried again and again at the same time push the door….I took a breath when it’s open, praise the Lord. Inside one simple wooden bed, a table , a chair, I could smell dusty air in the room. I looked at the bathroom, very dirty and rusty. 

They took us around the compound. Our rooms were facing the sea…so near so beautiful. I can sit in front of my room look directly to the open sea. I heard that one of the beautiful sea in the world is in this place, people from all the world came snorkeling, diving in this part of the world. They point a place not very far, it’s a fortress build during First World War, a famous fortress in the history. Tomorrow I will go there I said in my heart. They said this island is a small island, very small so they don’t have a bank in the island. It’s surprise me, “What???!! You mean everyone keep their cash at home?” “Yes.” He smiled. “On the way to the resort I saw market by the road side, small stalls, small restaurants, you mean everyone brought their money at home every day?” He explained, the bank is in the bigger island, people took a speedboat and keep their money there.Wow it’s an easy target for a robber. Hmmmm…..

They gave us a broom, a mop…to clean it all. I like cleaning so I have no complaint. I closed my door and changing ready to clean. One girl came to help me. After we finished, I wanted to go out at sit by the beach and drink my coconut. I tried to open the door, not moved at all. I pulled and pulled not even moved. I called my friends from the other room to help pushed from outside still can’t. I open the small window and jumped out. Thank God I small so I can squeeze through. For three days I come in through the door and come out through the window. Hahahahhah.

 
The girl who helped me seems didn’t want to go, I saw she brought a bag. I asked her are you going to stay. Yes she said to company me because at night sometime bad people came even though we already have peace agreement. Why is surprised come after another? ( I didn’t know number three) I told her nicely, you can go home, don’t worry I will be alright. First she insisted but I kept assuring her, I’m okay. She left me with big smile, she was happy to go home, nice bed at home with her family instead in this room, I guess. 
I have reason why I tell her to go home. Because if anything bad happened let’s say there is an attack or ambush, I have to take responsibility to safe her too. If I’m alone I just run and safe myself. In the past I have gone through an emergency situation where my mission partner got scared and can’t run, stuck in her place and cried frantically. Make the situation more difficult for both of us. Olive I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, she said it in tears. In that situation I have to overcome my own fear, keep hope a life, strengthen my self, brain work fast what to do, I can’t carry burden of two persons in fear, that’s too much for that particular situation. I didn’t want that happen again while the girl is with me.

The night passed I slept fast and sound. I woke up early doing my morning prayer and walked to the fortress. No one there, it’s a pity they abandoned this historical fortress. I walked to every rooms including the prisons. I can felt the horror in the atmosphere. Not as horror as when I visited Auschwitz Camp.
I walked back to my room by the beach I saw kids from the village playing with the sand, swimming at the open sea, they swam far, they just little kids. They didn’t scared of drowning or shark,

Three great days in the island, we visited families and prayed for them. One day before we move to a bigger island I talked to the local people who are with us, please rent the biggest boat possible. I want a big boat not like last time. I will pay. He said he already booked the biggest speedboat. We were happy.

We left the resort by 5 am. We walk through a footpath, high grass on both sides, we used flashlights. Why? I didn’t understand. Finally I saw the boat by the river, I was shocked, the boat is small…yes is slightly bigger than the last boat but still small. I tap the man, “ I want a big boat”.  “This is the biggest boat, look at the engines, this boat have four engines.” He pointed to the engines with his flashlight. I see…what I meant was the size but for them in here big means how many engines. ( I didn’t know number four)

I have no choice, besides three of us, the musician team from the local church also joined, six of them. They brought their music instruments as well, guitar, keyboard, speakers. Ooo the boat is small and so many things they brought. I didn’t like it. It think it’s too much load, over weight. 
They started the engines we sailed, slowly by the shore. The leader showed us the islands we passed….we can’t sail too close to those islands, they have snipers, they can shoot us from a far. So…why you sailed so close…can’t you go further? I only said that in my heart. They still asleep that’s why we left early morning, he calmed us like he knew our heart. ( I didn’t know number five) 

I sent here to inaugurate a church but I got many unexpected bonuses.
The same like before, the wave so high…higher and higher. The musicians said this is just normal wave, certain season even higher and we can’t sailed. Praise the Lord for a safety journey.
We arrived at the bigger island, I can see many cars, big road. Children are walking to the school, farmers are going to their field. Daily life just begin. 
They took us to the pastor house where we’re going to stay for fours days. We stopped by the main road. I see grass field bigger than a soccer field and in the middle of it a small house. The pastor and his wife was kind to give their bedroom for me. 

That night before we slept. The pastor told us what happened during the conflict/war. He said behind the tress at the back of his house is an open sea. Those times at night many hired soldiers from Afghanistan and Kazakstan came boat by boat. They killed people in the island, the political issue said they want annihilated the whole tribe. I can take you to see the proof that they landed in here and the remnant they left behind, also the skulls and the bones. Thank God it’s over both sides signed the peace agreement, I said. The pastor continue, yes it was true but still they are people who didn’t follow the agreement and attack civilians. We sleep every night surrender our life to God and His protection. ( I didn’t know know number six) 

Ooo another scary night hahhahahhah. I went to bed and honestly I did think. If there is an attack tonight what shall I do? Where to run?  Outside  the house is grass field, where to hide? Is there any hidden place in this small house? I don’t think so. Lord Jesus as you protected me before, you will protect me again. Thank you Jesus. Amen. I slept in peace no bad dreams, woke up very fresh. 
The next day was the inauguration, all went well. I shovel the ground and plant a tree. We prayed give thanks to God. 

The pastor said, we are going have delicious dinner, fish and all kind of seafood by one a family house in the church. I excited. It’s quite far at the other side of the island. We reached there after sunset. 
I enjoyed the food, fresh seafood, great cook. After that they served local desserts, we all sat at the veranda of the house, it’s dark very dark. The house was by the main road but no street light. Across the road was mountain, jungle.

 We sat and sharing testimony, we laughed too. They shared during the conflict people tried their best to defend themselves and their families. Young kid from the age of seven or eight when they heard a sound of a gun they knew what type of rifle was that. Boys started at the age of eleven, twelve they were very good in shooting. They can shoot in the dark without people knowing they were there. You see the mountain in front of us, snipers can shoot from there to this place. And still there are snipers hide in the mountain. He said it very lightly. Hi….now I sat exactly facing the dark mountain and you said there are snipers there? In my heart only. I wanted to move inside but my butt can’t move, glue to the chair.  ( I didn’t know number seven )

The time to go back to the main island before we take a flight home.This time I was quite happy, the boat was big. Around twenty five passengers. Not very big boat actually, this was the biggest I saw though. 
I climbed the boat and saw two long rifles on the left another two on the right. Why is passenger boat have rifles on board? The pastor who was with me explained. We are going to pass by conflict islands, if they attack us we can protect ourselves. And sometimes they were pirate too. ( I didn’t know number eight) He said it with no worries tones. I guess they used to it, life goes on.

Why people want to rob others joy? Can’t we live in peace and love? 
Once again the trip was okay, the wave still the same, very high, up…up and going down very stiff…what a roller coaster! I began to adjust I think. 
We flew home glad to able to kiss and hugs my children again.
Would I took the trip if I knew???? If I knew all will be alright, I might take it. But I didn’t know at all. In this life there are many things I don’t know, I will face a situation that I don’t know. BUT my Abba Father is omniscient, all knowing. 

His words is my hope and strength; Lord you know everything there is to know about me. You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm.

Years ago I started have a dream and when I woke up I still remembered it very vivid. 

This was what I saw in the dream: I was sleeping and a man hand put in white shredded papers in my mouth wanted to choke me with it. I grabbed his hand and push him away from my face. Then I woke up. I felt that the white shredded papers speak about a broken promise, wanted to kill me with it. Wanted to destroy my life with a promise that has been broken. The next day it happened exactly like the meaning of the dream. 

That was my beginning of nights without dreams. Every night I have dreams at least two till nine for the first couple years then elevated at least two till thirteen dreams each night still until now.

What amazing is I can remember them all. I believe Holy Spirit helps me to remember it. Sometime I woke up at night after having dreams, I put paper and pen by my bed side so I can easily wrote my dreams even in the dark. Later in the day I journal my dreams. I brought it to God, this is how I always talk to God. “Holy Spirit God reveals to me what is Abba Father’s heart for me through this dreams.”

Holy Spirit started unveiling Father’s heart for me. I was so blessed. He begins to speak about daily life what’s going to happen, also warning if I have to be careful, encourage me when I in worry, also comfort me and made me laugh through the dreams. In simple words, these many dreams every night has blessed me. Teaching me, open my eyes to see more and more of God.

One day I have lunch with my good friend more than twenty years. I didn’t share about my night vision experiences. Out of the blue she said that her husband have a dream. I told her I will go home and pray, ask the Holy Spirit to give me understanding of Abba Father’s heart for my friend’s husband. After prayer I texted her what I received about the dream. She shared it to her husband and what a joy for me the feedback was so so good. “Very accurate!”

That dream was a mark of my journey of interpreting dreams for others. I didn’t wandering around asking people if they have dream. Or asking questions do you want me to Interpret your dream? To be honest I didn’t know how…..more and more friends sharing their dreams to me, also from other countries. They didn’t know about me and dreams, they just like magnet pull toward me to share it.

The results were very wonderful, people blessed, people life revived, people know the heart of God how He loves them so much. The dream gave them direction also solution. Bring hopes back. How through the dreams He cares and protects life. Bring restoration and reconciliation. All the goodness of God. 

For many months the dreams was about me and my life. Then slowly I began to see the changes of the meaning. Seems like certain particular dream for other person or could be a specific person or people group. I really pray for the anointing of discernment. 

I share with you one dream that I thought was for me. I had a weird dream. I saw a panty a new one and a sanitary napkin was attached to it and what amaze me on top the napkin were two bloom roses.Why are roses on top of it? Is going to be difficult to wear it, isn’t it? I was asking many questions in the dream. I look nearer to see if the roses are real. Yes it was real roses and smell so fragrance. I asked the Holy Spirit to reveal Father’s heart for me in this dream. I wrote down on my dream book. Period of a woman is a great blessing from God. Has to be celebrated not a curse nor something to be ashamed of. Fertility is His gift to make us able conceive a child. More things I wrote.

…..After that I prompted to send the dream to my friend overseas. I want to know her insight. After sometime she told me she didn’t understand, she asked me what my interpretation. I wrote all….She came back to me cried and cried and cried. This was she shared, that same morning she was angry with God, she wanted God to stop her monthly period forever. She didn’t like it. Two days before she told her friend she was tired of  her life because of her period. She was very stressed, frustrated. When she read what I felt God tells through that dream, she felt God was comforting her, loving her, actually this is a blessing for a woman. Brings life and fragrance. She told God how regretted she was, she began to see how privileged she is to have a healthy life and two children. She embraced the special gift God has for women.

I was even more astonished, I thought it was for me but actually God uses my dream to speak for others.
Another dream.

 I see my old friend she was pregnant, she took a train and out from the train and wearing a monk clothe. In the real life she already passed the time to have a child. I asked the Holy Spirit to reveal to me what is Father trying to say to me. But my heart drawn to her more. I felt that she will go through a life situation where she seems to have a child again. That situation will make her not able to continue what she is doing. It will be a long patience, endurance time, it could be tiring and tested her not to loose her peace, she will find strength in much prayer.
I didn’t contact her at all about the dream. I took it as God wanted me to intercede for her. Speak life and health to her and her family. Months after that I heard from another friend. Her husband got stroked, hospitalized and now back home but paralyzed. She has to take care her husband like a child, yes she can’t do thing s that she usually did, she must have patience and pray much also.

Another interesting dream, began with a situation; Many friends and people I didn’t know ask me to pray for them, for healing, breakthrough etc. Many hard cases has been answered such as: One day a man from overseas called me ask if I’m willing to pray for his friend which staying in my city. This lady, I never met her till today. Very broken hearted, her husband was sentenced for 15 years in prison for a crime he didn’t committed. He has been half a year inside when she called me. I prayed for her over the phone and agreed to pray everyday. Four months passed and I got a phone call, this lady said her husband is going home that afternoon the court has reviewed the case and he wasn’t guilty. Wow! Praise the Lord, glory to His name!

In this pandemic situation it’s hard to sell properties. My friends wanted to sell her house another friend too. We agreed in pray. In such a short time they got buyers. The house was not cheap, one house is more than 200.000$. Praise the Lord!

One day I was feeling a bit frustrated. The answers of my prayer to others were  quick but my own prayer where I need breakthrough I don’t see any light. That night before sleep I told Abba Father, I think I’m gonna stop praying for myself, seems useless. My heart was restless, I could said I was half disappointed…..half because the other half I will continue intercede for other people. 

As every night, that night I dreamt; I was in a place and I have to pass a machine detector/body scanner like when we are at the airport but in the dream I have to give the password to be able pass through. A man gives me a bible open at the book of Proverbs, he said I have to choose a verse to pass the scanner. In my mind I choose proverbs 12:12….I think I change to proverbs 14:12. I think and think and I change again, ok I choose proverbs 13:12. I walked to the scanner, the guard ask the password I said proverbs 13:12.He lets me through. 
In the morning when I woke up, quickly I open my bible looked at proverbs 13:12. Surprised….! Surprised….!
“When hope’s dream seems to drag on and on, the delay can be depressing. But at last your dream comes true, life’s sweetness will satisfy your soul.”(TPT)
Hahhahahhah, He must be joking. God Himself gave me the answer. I feel loved so much. I continue praying till today. What a fun God we have!
The next night I dreamt again, seems God not finished yet speak to me.This time I heard a voice in my dream, proverbs 22:23 “For the Lord will rise to plead for their case and humiliate the one who humiliates the poor.”

“For God may speak in one way, or in another, yet man does not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls upon men, while slumbering on their beds, Then He opens the ears of men, and seals their instruction.” Job 33:14-16 NKJV 

“In a dream, for instance, a vision at night, when men and women are deep in sleep, fast asleep in their beds.God opens their ears and impresses them with warnings to turn them back from something bad they’re planning, for some reckless choice, and keep them from an early grave, from the river of no return.” Job 33:15-18 MSG

There were many stories in the scripture how God used dream to give us wisdom, the dream of Joseph. An angel from the Lord appeared to him and said, “Joseph, descendant of David, don’t hesitate to take Mary into your home as your wife.”
Dream to safe us, the dream of Joseph. An angel of the Lord appeared to him and said,” Get up now and flee to Egypt. Take Mary and the little child and stay there until I tell you to leave, for Herod intends to search for the child to kill him.”
Dream to gives us direction and also dream can give us a warning, the dream of Joseph. The angel of the Lord appeared again to Joseph in a dream while he was still in Egypt, saying. “Go back to the land of Israel and take the child and his mother with you…..Then he had another dream from God, warning him to avoid that region and instructing him instead to go to the province of Galilee.So he settled his family in the village of Nazareth, fulfilling the prophecy.

God can come in a dream and we can have conversations with Him. Salomon had this in his dream, God said, “Ask! What shall I give you?” Solomon ask for a hearing heart. God’s answer was superseded his expectations, God granted him: a wise, understanding heart, both riches and honor no one has been like him nor shall any like him arise after Salomon.

Do not under estimate your dream. Do not frustrated when you awake and forget. God will help you to remember the dream.

My friends celebrate your resting time, your sleep time. When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3:24 NKJV 

Rose, my daughter is a very good cook, she knows her kitchen well. All things she cooked or baked always turn up delicious. Once she cooked she always cook a lot, 5 pounds of meat, 5 pounds of chicken, 5 pounds of fish because she is working she can’t cook every day. Except for vegetables, she prepared salad or cook simple vegetables before meal time.

The duty to cut the meat or chicken or fish and vegetables is for El Prince my son. In the beginning El Prince always asked his sister, how do you want me cut it? Every dishes have a different way to cut right? Certain dishes could be bigger other dishes smaller, If you cut meat for soup different than you cut for other dish. Sharon answered, “Cut whatever you like it’s doesn’t matter.” He cut as he likes and Rose never get upset of the way El Prince did it. Never gone wrong. No worries, no condemnation, no fear of making mistakes. No matter the cut was Rose always turn it into yummy dish.

If I come to visit her and helping her to cut, she gave me the same answered. “Cut whatever you like mom.” But I can’t, I asked her what do you want to cook? When she gave the answered than I will cut accordingly. I can’t cut as my heart like….lol 

The way Rose sees it is the taste of the food not depend at how the cut was but the chef who cooked it. 

In my life I think I did make unwise decision, chosen the wrong things, made a reckless assumption that can lead me to unsatisfying result. But somehow I felt that there was a supernatural force, unseen power who always redirect my life to the right way, to the path that supposed to be. Like the parable of the lost sheep, the shepherd looked for it and when he found it, he carried it in his shoulder and celebrated. 

In the parable of the prodigal son. The son rose and came back to his father’s house. When the father saw his youngest son from a far. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. (Luke 15:20)

In the history was told when the father ran he lift up his robe which breaking the tradition and norm during those days. It was a shameful things to lift up the robe. He took the shameful things of what his son did. The son did a shameful things by asked his part of inheritance while his father still alive and spent it all in a shameful way. According to the law such son has to be stoned to death or cut the relationship with him, a disgraceful son. But his father ran fast toward him when he saw him, not only he was happy to see his son again but to protect him from angry people, from the culture and tradition that he deserved to be stoned. 
The father kiss and kiss him, not a word of condemnation and no judgment. Only love and love and love.

Luke 15:22-24 But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.

Not just a robe….The robe, a special robe, his robe. He was restored back to his status as the son.  Means he was fully back to his honor, identity. He was no longer the prodigal son now he is made righteous, accepted as son. 
And the father also restored his authority as his son by put a ring on his hand, he has accessed to the authority, rights and privileges as a son. 
The son came back barefoot, his father put sandals on his feet. No longer he will walk the same path again. Servants didn’t wearing sandal they were barefoot. Now he is fully restored as a son of his father in all aspects. 

When I ponder this loving father heart it touch my heart deep. My marriage was ended in divorced, a painful one full of deceived from the very beginning which I didn’t know at all. Many abused, manipulative actions in the name of God. Not in a moment I thought of divorce, I thought we were going to grow old together with our children and grandchildren, keep serving the Lord.
It’s a shameful things, I was in shame. I didn’t want to meet people that knew what had happened to me. I put my head down in the church and quickly went home after the service. 

But all in the past now. I can held my head high in peace. Knowing that Abba Father took all the shame for me and ran to protect me from all accusations and judgment from others. Jesus died on the cross took all my shame, when they stripped Him naked in public display so I don’t have to bear my own shame anymore.

Whatever has happened in my life journey my Abba Father run towards me and restore back my righteousness and dignity. I’m His beloved daughter.

• 

We just past the year of 2020. Praise the Lord for His endless grace, love and goodness for me, Rose, Lucas, Adriel and El Prince. We all in good health. We are grateful.

Months of staying at home, work from home, zoom meetings for many hours. Longing to be outside under the blue sky and heat of the sun. Miss playing with water by the beach and get muddy while hike through the mountains. What a joy to be around people again, hearing their laughter.What a privilege to have a meal together with family and friends. Yes, we all are. 

I have a funny story that happened to me in December. I think it was an incident that Holy Spirit God wanted to highlight for me to be more aware and alert of His presence.

Couple days before Christmas my friend reminded me for zoom Christmas celebration. She said don’t forget to dress up for Christmas. We can wear Santa hat or any head ornaments or glasses, make decoration of your background with Christmas three, light, snow, reindeer etc. The best one will get a prize. I told her I didn’t have any, I might just wear red.

One day before in the evening I talked to God. “God, I would like to participate, I didn’t have any Christmas ornaments in the house and didn’t feel to go out to buy either.” Then suddenly I heard Him saying, “Olive, you can draw pictures on your cheek.” Wow, what a brilliant idea! Hmmm but I never good in drawing even when I was at school, drawing and painting not my forte. I took the idea in my heart, I brought it again to Him in pray before I slept that night.

The next morning before the Christmas zoom was started, I sat at my big bathroom mirror and took another magnifying 5 times mirror put it in front of me. I said a short prayer. Holy Spirit help me. I have an idea of drawing a Christmas tree on my right cheek and on the left cheek I wanna draw round Christmas decorations and a Christmas present with a ribbon. Hahhahahhah it’s seem like my idea but I believe must be Holy Spirit inserted the ideas in my mind.

How should I started. I took an eyebrow pencil to draw a sketch of a tree, using the magnifying mirror to look at my cheek. Not bad I only draw once without erasing it. Then I took an eyeliner to make a dark line for the tree. I color the tree green with eyeshadow. I also made the snow around the tree with white eyeshadow. It was fast, easy and beautiful. I was very happy. I encourage myself, good job Olive, you can do on the other side too.

Again I took an eyebrow pencil to draw sketches of round ball Christmas ornaments and a square with ribbon around it as a box of present. Went smoothly. I made a black line with an eyeliner, color the round ball and the present with different color of lipsticks. Done! I very satisfied. I laughed a lot in front of the mirror. Okay I’m ready for Christmas.

My friends in zoom were laughing and said wow you go all the way Olive. Hahhahahhah. I was the only one made face as a Christmas decoration. Guest…..I won the prize. Thank you Lord Jesus.

This incident spoke more to me. God was speaking to me to be more aware of His presence in the coming year. Like He is preparing me with revelation wisdom for the next year. Hope it also become an insight for you.

Remember I always around you and in you. Every time you need wisdom to make decision, every time you need ideas, every time you don’t know what to do, what to say, what ……Asked Me. I’m not only heard you, I talk too. And you will be able to hear Me. I’m your shepherd you are My sheep. I know you and call you by your name. And the sheep listen to the shepherd voice. 

When God gives the idea He will enable us to accomplish it. He will give us the capability and the skill to do it. And wisdom from above is brilliant, awesome.

This is a very simple story but it’s a good reminder. Many times in our walk of life when we face with a situation we easily panic, confuse, find answer in wrong source that only lead us to more confusion, feeling out of control, worry, anxious, fear, anger or we become irritated and easily angry. 
When we aware of God’s presence and His unfailing love for us. It will bring peace to our soul, mind and heart. We can be calm down and quiet our heart and listen to His voice.

He is the God of peace where we can find peace in His peace and flooded our trouble soul with His peace.

Be strong in this year. My prayer for you, may the Almighty God bring revival of His glory and goodness to you, your love ones, your nations.