I solemnly instruct you to proclaim the Word of God and stand upon it no matter what! Rise to the occasion and preach when it is convenient and when is not. Preach in the full expression of the Holy Spirit with wisdom and patience as you instruct and teach the people.

This verse from 2 Timothy 4:2 has been with me since I was 15 years old. I answered yes Lord, I am willing. This passion has been burning inside me ever since. It took me to many countries, many closed  and dangerous places. There are many others who also said yes to this calling, I salute them, such an honor to know them. They open a pathway for us to followed behind their footsteps. Many were never returned to their families and friends, they returned to God.

My spiritual father before he left the country said to me, “Olive if you don’t see my face again it’s mean something good has happened to me.” I didn’t see him again but I believe he sees me from Heaven, he is with Abba Father now. 

Rise to the occasion and preach when it is convenient and when is not! Give me Your Grace O Lord Jesus. Fill my heart with Your Love Father.

“Olive do you want to go to “this” country? It’s very near, at the other side of the river.” “Is it safe?” I asked, because they are in war between themselves. “Yes they said, we won’t go far, we also can visit one of our kid mother.” They told me doesn’t need to bring my passport. 

So here I was in a small boat crossing to another country without passport and no check point. Indeed it was very near.
We shored shortly and step my feet in this country. I’ve been in this country before from time to time by plane or border crossing but not this way.

The place was very silent, I didn’t see anyone at all. Mostly were open field, some area were like a jungle. Then I saw houses half bricks half wood. Long houses side by side, I saw the flag on a pole. I asked, “What is this place?” One of them answered, “This is a base of military for this area.” What!!!!! I didn’t like it, I want to run back to the river. They laughed it’s okay they said. They showed me around….the public kitchen, the clinic….all in that military base. Not even one soldiers I saw. 

Then we visit one of the house of our kid (refugees), his mom was very happy to see me, they called me teacher because I teach the kids in the refugees camp. She prepared meal for us and want me to eat, I have to eat and respect her hospitality even though my heart want to quickly come back to the other side.
Thank God the short trip was peaceful. I was thrilled. 

At this side, we have a place for refugees children from the other side of the river. Two different countries separate with river. My friend build a school and dorms for these children. I came to teach and helping supervise the children and help the teachers. Drive the small truck to the market, to the clinic whoever sick, the nearest hospital is 2 hours drive through the mountain. 
These children lost their parent, family through war. The soldiers came to their villages and killed all the adults, kidnap the boys for mines sweepers. These are children who can escape those horrible incident.

We are in the small town, in the mountain. Neighbors are far from us. Few years back soldiers from the other side shot the school and other villages by the river. Many are dead and injured. They can cross the river by night and killed people.

Sometimes we got warning to be careful. There were night I heard sound of gun. My backpack always near me in my room. Everything important was in there. Every night I memorized where I put my things such as phone, flashlight, shoes. What shall I do first if we are attack. I have to be ready day and night.
Lord Jesus thank you for Grace and Love once again.

I have another story. I was in another country visiting refugees camps. The didn’t allow foreigners to come to all the camps. Foreigners only can visit certain cities if we found in the place we not suppose to be they can detain us and put us in prison for three years without court or they can make us disappear. 

So here we are, five of us. Many refugees are Christian. We brought food for every household, they were very happy to see us. They lived very poor, one small wooden house for more than eight people. Lack of water, lack of all. We brought blankets, winter gonna be cold. 

We were gather in a simple hall, we sang a worship song. Then I started to preach, I talked about the birds, the flowers…..less than fifteen minutes Emily my friend whisper, “Olive stop now!” I saw from the open window, I mean open because there wasn’t any glass, totally open. I saw two soldiers, one of them with his phone toward me. I quickly stopped, we said goodbye, went inside our car then go…go…go!!!!

In the car they told me the soldier recorded what I preached and took a picture of me. Thank you Jesus for saving us. We drove while we wait for a call what we should do next, where to go. We wanted to visit another refugees camp. We received a called, the situation wasn’t good. Soldiers were everywhere, tighten each checkpoint. We canceled our visit. Our friend tried to find a safe place for us to sleep through the night. They directed us to a small area not even a village. The pastor of the church willing to accept us but we can’t walk out of the church compound. Outside of it we might be in danger. 

We passed the night peacefully. We woke up and ready for another camp to bring comfort and love and food. 

The scripture said: “….deal with each challenge that comes your way, one day at a time….” Matthew 6:34 TPT 

Thank you Jesus for Your Grace  and Love yesterday, You protected us. Today is a new morning, we will once again declare the word “proclaim the Word of God and stand upon it no matter what! Rise to the occasion and preach when it is convenient and when is not.”

The sunshine was warm my bed by the window. I’m gonna take a walk by the Rhine River, I think it’s a great idea, after many days cold and cloudy. I put on my light coat and said bye to my friend, she was in the kitchen preparing for dinner. Her house only few minutes walk to the river. 

I was singing in low voice, enjoying the weather. Wind blows swinging the leaves and make small ripples on the surface of the water. It was a beautiful day. I keep walking..a man jogged his dog run by his side. 

Suddenly….rain fell heavy and wind blow strong. I didn’t bring umbrella, I can’t run back home it’s a bit too far especially in this rain. I looked at the other side of the road a small ‘Imbiss’ shop. I run there. A small shop selling hotdogs and hot snack, hot drinks and lemonade. It’s a take way shop, not a chair provided. They have extension roof, where I stood there. Some people also there , took shelter from the rain, they were from work I can see from their clothes. People were started to order hotdogs…smell so alluring, what a great snack at this cold rain but I didn’t bring any money, it’s supposed to be a short walk by the river.

I heard a voice behind me spoke in German. I didn’t understand so I didn’t turn around. Then a hand tapped on my shoulder, I turned. The Imbiss man handed me a hotdog. I said I didn’t order. I made signs with my hands, pointed to my self and made a cross. He smiled big and point his finger to me while he said this is for you, he spoke in German which I translated myself…..lol. “For me!” He nodded his head, laughed. “Danke…danke!” Thank you in German. Of course I ate it straight away, who can resist a smell of delicious hotdog and now is in my hand. Yummy and my heart full of joy. There is still kind people outside that willing to share what they have to others. He didn’t have a big restaurant only a small shop, he might be only work there too. He is so kind to a total stranger. My ordinary walked became my reflection that day.

Today was a history for me, finally I landed at Tel Aviv few days before The Feats of Tabernacle. I was staying at a hotel near the airport because my friends will come in two days and I will meet them at the airport. It was Friday and I fasting because I only have 50$ left. I think I have to safe money until my friends arrive. I decided to read my book by the swimming pool, this is a big hotel. Many people at the pool, many parents and their children. I find a nice place with a table beside it and a big tree. I really enjoyed my reading time while listening to children laughing and screaming in joy. I have no idea how long and what time. The hotel waitress came with a tray, leave it to my table. I’m sorry I didn’t ordered, this must be a wrong table. “This is yours, miss.” Then he pointed to a guy in the swimming pool. That guy smile, “ I ordered it for you, lunch. I saw you only reading a book till noon. Sabbath will start this evening. “Thank you so much!” I speak louder. I ate my Middle East lunch…so good and also I was actually very hungry. While I’m eating I started conversation with my “prince” hahhahahhah. He was a swimming  coach at the hotel, he gives swimming lesson to children. He is a Jewish. We had a great talked and laughed. He is so kind hearted to a stranger, to buy me lunch in this nice hotel must be expensive. 

The next day before ten am I already at the arrival hall waiting for my friends. Their plane should landed anytime now. Couple hours past by…not one plane arrive from her country. I tried to make a call to her home…no one picked up. I’m still waiting until the sun was boiling hot. No announcement of the plane landed. Where should I stay that night and another fourteen days with only few dollars left?  I used the money to give tip plus payed my taxi.

A young lady with blond hair smile at me and asked me what’s wrong? She must be noticed I kept making phone calls and keep going to the information counter. I told her about my friends should be arrive today and we will be two weeks in Israel.  She introduced herself, she is from Christian Embassy. She was also waiting for people from overseas.  Then she said, “If your friends do not arrive, you can come with me and stay with me, as long as you need until your time to fly out of the country and you can go with me everywhere because I’m going to travel around the country during this Feast.” Wow….a stranger lady with super kindness heart to me total stranger with no money.

 Indeed I followed her that day. We went to Jerusalem, loved the city…with the wall surrounding the old Jerusalem. She took me to the Feats of Tabernacle at the desert. We sang and danced and eat by the fire place. Tears of thankfulness wet my cheeks. Thank you Jesus finally I’m at Your land. I can felt the presence of God so tangible that nite. My heart fill His love, my heart so peaceful. Thank you Abba Father for sending an angel with blond hair. 

I was at the beach under the big umbrella beach. A familiar view;  children are making sand castles with their parents. Boys are playing guitar and singing, some people reading books, many are sunbathing. Girls are digging up the sand looking for seashells. The rest were in the sea swimming. I heard a music very loud come near and nearer. Children were running to the sound. Aha! An ice cream man with his ice cream cart. What a perfect combination, sea, sand, and ice cream….irresistible, I said in my heart. I back to my book. “Excuse me…this for you.” I looked up and the ice cream man offer me an ice cream. I reached out my pocket to get some money. He said, ”This is for you, free!” My eyes open big couldn’t believe it. Thank you, thank you… Wow what a kind and generous heart this man has for me a total stranger by the beach. 

Random people showed their kindness and generosity to me a stranger. This bring deep meditation. How my heart felt when this kindness touch me. At first I felt shocked, a good one. I felt joy, felt warm of their loving heart. Felt how in the strange country God provision was so real. 
I want to do the same, I want to touch people heart, I want them feel the love of God, God is care. Just a small act of kindness with integrity could change people life that day. 

Hebrew 13:2 And show hospitality to strangers, for they may be angels from God showing up as your guests.
Yes I won’t know that a stranger whom I show kindness and generosity is an angel in human form. 

I read this story. A beggar sat near a trash can  in front of a rich man house. It was Sunday, a sunny day. A nice car drove into the garage, the Father told his son, “Go tell about The Father’s love to that man,” he meant is the beggar. The teenager son walked to the beggar and started  a conversation. He said that Jesus taught us a prayer. He recited Our Father prayer. The man listening with big eyes. 

The young boy asked him to say the prayer after him. “Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name…

“Your Father who art in Heaven….

“It’s Our Father not Your Father…, Our Father who art in Heaven….

“Your Father who art in Heaven….

“Our Father not Your Father….

“But it’s your Father not my Father,” said the beggar. His eyes looks sad.

“He is our Father not my Father,” explain the boy. “If He is our Father, we won’t have this conversation. You will invite me to have lunch with you in the house.” 

Wow….it’s like a dagger plunge to the heart. What is love looks like ?

I have 2 stories about my son El Prince. The first one told by his Sunday school teacher.
The Sunday school were working together with a community in the garbage dumped area. They are bringing children to the Sunday school. Before they entered the classes, the teachers bath them and give them clean clothes. First Sunday, second Sunday, third Sunday, fourth Sunday. The children from that school were getting lazy to join or some didn’t turned up.

Few months after that the teacher told me. El Prince was the only boy who sat in the middle of these children from the garbage area. From week to weeks he sat with them, played with them….no different than the other children. Seems like he didn’t care of who were these kids, how different they were, how bad the smell even after took a shower. 

I was very proud of him when I heard that, El Prince was 10 years old. When I told him about how I proud of him and very happy I have a very loving son. He said, “I don’t see any different mom, they are just like me. I don’t know why the other kids didn’t want to be near them.” I said because they are smell of the garbage. “O yes they were smell but it’s okay, not a big deal for me mom.”

The second story told by my daughter Rose.
“Mom, you have to talk to El Prince. Tell him not to talk to stranger, be careful. He gave his leather coat that you bought to a homeless guy on the street!” That’s what Rose told me on the phone. I asked her, “How is your brother now?” “He is okay, went home and in his room now.” I didn’t called El Prince. As long as he is fine, I am glad.

Few months after that I came to visit them. We were in the car when Rose said, “Mom your son gave his leather coat to a homeless.” “It’s okay I still have another coat,” El Prince answered her. “Tell me the story.” I asked him.

He said he was at the bus station in the city waiting for his friend. It was winter, very cold. He sat at the bench near the bus shelter and playing game on his phone. Then a man came and sat on the edge of the bench. Then he sat closely to him and put his head on my son shoulder. Didn’t say anything. “What did you say to the man?” I curious. “I didn’t say anything, I keep playing the game.” El Prince explained. And the man moved his head from my son shoulder and looked and the game.  Both didn’t say a word. Then he started the conversation, my son answered him. Both were talking about life and more. Before he left he asked if he could have my son coat, he didn’t have one and winter was very cold plus strong wind every day. “I took off my coat and gave it to him and asked his phone number if he needs help in the future.” El Prince said. Yes they have several times texted messages after that but the homeless guy never asked anything else. “I should text him and find out how is he now.” So El Prince texted him and no replied, he called too… no answered. “I think he changes his number,” my son said.

As a mother I advised him to be wise and be careful. “Yes mom I understand,” he smiled. There are two of many more he did for others that less fortunate than him. I guest what I taught him since he was little not in vain. Praise the Lord.

There was one thing I asked my daughter and son did once every other month. I will ordered a set meal in a package around 25 packages. I told them after school you have to distribute these meal to strangers whom you think need it. Could be children or homeless people. You have to find them. And do not go home until you done giving it all. Usually I provided a driver to drive them to where they want to go. Rose in different day than El Prince. So each have their 25 set meals to give. 

First they felt that’s a hard task. Where to find those people and how to approach them. But they did it. Rose came home with big smile, “Its easy mom, I just found two or three homeless kids and tell them to call their friends. They came, they were very happy to get the meal and ate it at once. Then I went to another place did the same. Let’s do it again!”

El Prince came home with big joy in his face, he is a quiet person so I understand it will be a bit difficult for him to start talking and approach people. He said they drove to a neighborhood with kids on the street, they were poor children. He opened the car window and gave two packages to a small girl and her little brother. They kept thanking him. “Thank you ….thank you…thank you.” Like they never received such kindness from people. He went to different road and started to give the meal. A boy said, “Can I call my friends so they can eat too?” That’s touched El Prince heart. They were poor children, when they got something good they were not greedy they remembered their friends and want them to have it too. “I will do it again mom, seeing their happy face and how grateful they are touch me.”

Yes they were doing this during their primary school. I want them to know that around us there are people in need and we can bring them joy and love with a simple things we do, by a little that we have.

Since Rose and El Prince three years old, every 3 months I asked them to select their toys they did not want either they bored of it or they have too much toys. I said we will give it to children at the orphanage or any other community that I picked. In the beginning was hard for them because the toys belong to them why they should give it away, they want all, they want to keep all. I took them to see how happy the kids with their unused toys, they played it like a new toys. While at home they barely play with it again. The same with their clothes, shoes, bags, books, stationery and many more. When they were grow bigger I didn’t need to tell them every 3 months. When they have things to give it away they came to my room, “Mom, you can give this to children who need it.” To let go of their belongings become easy because they know it will make other people happy. The old and unused things of ours become a new things for them.

Both Rose and El Prince lives in different country than me. In one corner of their house Rose put a big box, every one know whatever they put in there will go to charity. She do it twice in year, sometimes if the box filled up faster they delivered it themselves. I’m glad they still remember what I taught when they were just a toddlers.

I also did the same so they saw too. I gave away plates, bowls, pots and pans beside clothes, shoes, bags, books all kind. 
If we learn to let go of the things belong to us, I mean a good one, good condition. Not giving away things in the attitude want to get rid “junk”. We learn to share love. And it eventually will be easy for us to give even the new things we have but we can’t use or don’t fit us. A life of giving, giving our money, time and ……. you may fill in the blank.

When you have, giving is easier. When you have less and you are in need giving becomes a dilemma, sometimes it could be a choice of life and death. We are in survival mode. Someone told me long long time ago. Love until it’s hurt. Our Lord Jesus Christ has set an excellent example to follow. He has showed us what love looks like. Probably we are far from to be like Him, just take a small step….share love in many kinds of way you can. Share joy to people. Impact your surroundings. Impact your community, transform people’s life.

I grabbed my handbag and run down the stairs as fast as I can, my driver is ready in the car. “Do you know Rose’s friend house?” “I don’t know the house but I heard they mentioned the suburb.” “Let’s go there now!” Both of us never been to this suburb. It’s very far from where I lived, I never heard the name. I need to bring my daughter back home quickly. I felt the danger.

Half an hour ago Rose told me she wants to go to the mountain for the weekend with her best friends. They’ve been friend since 7th grade, I know them all. I said okay. She took a taxi to her friend house. After she left I felt uneasy in my heart, I didn’t like the felling. Something was very wrong. She lied. 

I didn’t have peace in my heart….praying unceasingly. Jesus please protects my daughter. It took ages to reach that suburb, I know it’s far….why there is traffic???
When we reached, the driver said where to go? Hmmmm….very good question. Where? Holy Spirit please help me, gives me direction.

I said, “Go around this area, go to every road!” He didn’t ask any question. He just drove. I saw many new housing complex in this neighborhood. They are nice houses, with garden. The car kept rolling. Then I said, “Go inside that complex!” There was a security guard at the front gate, we passed by without being stopped at all. “Which way?” He asked again. “Drive to every streets in this complex.” He followed. I keep praying. Holy Spirit show me in which house is Rose?

We were back to front gate, “Mam, we done circling all the streets.”I took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s go straight….,” he drove slowly. “Turn left.”“Turn right, take this second turn.” “Slowly….stop! Stop…! Go to that house on the right.” I point to a house with the gate half open.I get out of the car. The house was quite, no voice I heard. I knocked on the door twice. A woman open the door. I asked,  “Is Rose in here?” She answered, “Yes, wait.” WOW…..Wow….my heart jump…thank you Jesus. 

In a second, my daughter came out. Her face so shocked. It was less than an hour after she arrived I stood at her friend house. Before I said anything she said, “ I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry mom.” “Let’s go home now.” I said calmly. She obeyed, she has no choice. This friend house was not the one she told me, this friend was not her best friend. A bad friend. Rose lied. She tried to explain, her friend is decided not to go that’s why she was in this friend place. I asked for her best friend number, I called….Aha! What’s a surprise, her best friend even didn’t know about the trip. Lied cover with another lied. I told her, I do not want her be friend with this person anymore, period. She kept saying sorry, of course I forgive her. I love her so much. Thank you Jesus for saving my daughter that day.

How did I know Rose in that house? I didn’t know, Holy Spirit directed me, God intervene. 
God has given every mom dan dad special “sense/instinct/feeling/sensitivity” toward their children. This is a distinct gift to protect their children. This isn’t something new but many times parents ignore that. 

She was sixteen at that time. A year after that, she went to college overseas. She was far from me….she didn’t need to tell me at all about what she was doing. She could  said she is at ‘a’ place but actually not there. She could said she went home late working on the project but actually partying the whole night. I wasn’t there with her. How do I know?

If she was at home with me, sure as her mom I will ask her where do you want to go, with whom, what time you’ll be back. And I will wait for her to come home and ask have you eat? One day she asked me why I have to ask those questions. I said because you are my daughter, I don’t ask the neighbor children, where they are going? With whom? What time they go home? Have they eaten? Do you have money? I asked you because we are family, you are my daughter. 

Things started to change when she was overseas. She told me everyday what are her schedule, she emailed me the timetable of her class. She said so I know what time I can call her when she isn’t in the class. She told me about her  activities in the church. There are days that she is working, she told her schedule at work too. If I call her and she isn’t answer, she gave me her friend number to know about her. She told me what time she went home at night if she has to go out at night. 

When I don’t need to know all the details than she let me know all of it. Ask about my opinion of her boy friends, her boss ….many things. Praise the Lord. 

Mother and daughter relationship are always special, for me.
Once a week I hangout with my daughter, we have fun together. There were times we went snorkeling, fishing, hiking together. When we sat in the restaurant, I asked Rose…she was still a little girl. Look around those people, tell me what you see in them. Who they are? what they are doing? I was training her to be sensitive hearing the voice of God, to discern in the Spirit. Now she is married when we went for a brunch she ask me, “Mom…how about that person?” We laughed…She said it’s help her a lot in her social life. Her friends asked advice from Rose. She can even tell them what to happen. 

There was a story in the Bible about  King Solomon, God appeared in his dream and said, “Ask! What shall I give you?” And Solomon said, “Therefore give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?” Then God said to him: “behold, I have done according to your words; see, I have given you a wise and understanding heart, so that there has not been anyone like you before you, nor shall any like you arise after you.” 1 Kings 3:5,9,12
I’m thinking of myself. If God came to me in the dream and ask me what I shall give you? It will take me a while or longer to answer. What I want? Ah…so many things I want….what is the most important things?
But I read King Solomon straight away know what he wanted, he gave the answered easily. I was wondering, what made him able to answer such question from God instantly, seems he knew it.
Proverbs 4:3-13

When I was my father’s son,
Tender and the only one in the sight of my mother,
He also taught me, and said to me:
“Let your heart retain my words;
Keep my commands, and live.
Get wisdom! Get understanding!
Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.
Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you;
Love her, and she will keep you.
Wisdom is the principal thing; 

Therefore get wisdom.
And in all your getting, get understanding.
Exalt her, and she will promote you;
She will bring you honor, when you embrace her.

She will place on your head an ornament of grace;
A crown of glory she will deliver to you.”

Hear, my son, and receive my sayings,
And the years of your life will be many.
I have taught you in the way of wisdom;
I have led you in right paths.
When you walk, your steps will not be hindered,
And when you run, you will not stumble.
Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go;
Keep her, for she is your life.

Solomon said when he was young his father King David taught him to get wisdom, understanding, wisdom is the principal things. I guest King David learnt from his experience as a father of his many sons, his sons rebellious, rapist, murderer. This brought him heartache. When Solomon just a boy he keep teaching him and telling him to get wisdom. To be a wise king need wisdom from God. I also think King David kept repeating this over and over again to Solomon. When God ask, “What shall I give you?” He knows the answer by heart, his dad David has told him. An understanding heart, wisdom. In other bible translations is  said a listening heart. To listen well the heart of God. 

Yes it’s true, what we taught to our children they will remember it even though they seem not listening. We will see the fruits in their life, true also what heartache we cause in their life they will remember and keep it in their life and the result will be obvious. But don’t be sad, if you as a mother and father made a mistake, hurt your children, humble yourself, admit it and ask them to forgive you. As our Lord Jesus humble Himself became man and died as you on the cross for all our transgressions and iniquities. Release peace and love to the broken relationship. Declare unity in Jesus name. 

Never doubt yourself as a mother. You have special distinct/uniqueness from God to help, educate, protect your children, bring them up in the knowledge and wisdom of God to usher them fulfill their destiny in life. 

Mother is like iron steel 

Mother is like a bell

Mother is like burning candle 

Mother is like google 

Mother loves your mother.
Mary treasured her son Jesus. Jesus treasured her, at the cross He told John to take care His mother.

• 

I was preparing for my next trip. According to the weather forecast some days in the place that I go gonna be rain. I was at the mall at my favorite brand for trekking, hiking, any outdoor activities. I fell in love with this beautiful raincoat also can be use as a wind breaker. Light, many pockets outside and inside, with a belt so it’s very fashionable. They have two color creme and red. Without thinking twice I choose red. My idea was, it will be look great in the pictures instead of creme. It will make the photos bright and colorful. I was very happy and proud with the purchase and they have a special discount too, what more that I can asked. 

We landed safely in this country. Four of us, my brother, his wife and their son Joash 9 years old. My brother lives in the mountain, they hiked and biked a lot. So Joash was a strong boy. This trip we are going to walk for days from mountain to mountain. I prepared myself too, a month  before I did treadmill beside up and down stairs every morning and evening. I lived in the city, can’t bike safely too many traffics. We are more than ready for this adventure. 

We were moving between small towns, villages, I have no idea how many villages and mountains we passed through, days was very hot. My precious raincoat no where to be seen, at the bottom of my backpack.

Every night we fast asleep, bed was heaven, I didn’t bother to kill any insects crawling in the bathroom or in the room. They were quite friendly actually but of course I preferred they were not there.

We woke up early as usual, breakfast always yummy…love their local food. They used herbs that gives sharp smell, the taste much better than the smell.
A young man with creme shirt and pant came to meet us. Dano was our jungle guide. His skin was dark, I guest he must be under the sun so much. I can see he is smart and know his jungle well. Here we were under the morning sun walking again. Everywhere were green, grass were high, trees were bigs. We reached a small riverbank, Dano pull aside a small canoe, he told me to go in to the front side and sit, the rest followed behind me. It was really a small canoe, you just sit on the wood in it. My left and right side was the edge of the canoe, no extra space. You just sit and don’t move. I called Dano before he rows, “Wait!….Wait! I want to make photos,” he laughed.
What a beautiful weather, winds helped to reduce the heat. The river was brown color at the beginning then slowly became clear water. I asked, ”How long we’ll be in this canoe?”  I don’t really like it somehow, we can’t move, sit still was the best, the canoe was easily turned when we moved. 

Then Dano points to something far…far…, “Look! Wild elephants!” I took out my sunglasses tried to see better. Yes, I can see. Two elephants extremely far, looked very small at the right side of the river.  Joash asked, “Are they okay?” “Yes, as long as we don’t disturb them,” Dano gives us assurance.
We continue our sail. Then another canoe coming from other direction passed by us. The man spoke to Dano in their local dialect. Spoke back and forth.“What’s happening?” We all wondering. He explained that the man in that canoe told him about the two wild elephants. We are going to that direction. 

And suddenly Dano row to the left side of riverbank. He said, “Quickly! Get out and climb up!” His voice and his eyes made us worried. What actually happened? I was at the front, I get out first and tried to climb. We just shored unplanned and from the water surface  to the ground was high, higher than me….no stones to step into….no trees to hold unto.  

Out of the blue, rain was falling, not drizzling but heavy rain. I used my fingers to grip soil and climb as fast as possible, my brother push me. Once I on the ground I pull Joash, my sister in law. Dano was unbelievable he climbed like an animal so fast. He helped my brother. 
He told us…..to run as fast as possible because of the elephants. The elephants still very far, they looked very small in our eyes. Dano said…. “They can run faster than us and will catch after us in minutes.” These were wild elephants, they are dangerous. Later on I know that an elephant could run at 5 meters per second, 11,2 miles per hour. That’s fast!

Before we run we took out our raincoat, me too…my red raincoat, finally I got a chance to wear it. We acted very fast. Dano eyes changed like an animal, very sharp, very alert. He kept looking to the elephants at the other side of the river to watch every move. The elephants still very far. 
When he Dano looked at my raincoat, “Do you have other raincoat?” His voice worried. Of course that’s the only one I have. “Why?” “The color will attract the elephants and other wild animals.”  Absolutely, why I never thought of it at all? I should know better. What to do? What can I do now? I know….pray. I didn’t take out my red raincoat, rain cats and dogs. 

We run behind Dano, run through the jungle, mud. Sometimes we can’t see him because of the leaves, branches blocked our path. Every few minutes Dano stop, his eyes looked at the river toward the elephants, observing where were their position. We keep running, we saw some animals running too, some on the trees, there were snake. I didn’t have time to think. RUN!!! Especially my red raincoat attract wild animals. I didn’t know how long we run…we stepped into puddles, some were quite deep. 

We reached of amazing forest. Big trees with many kinds of orchids growing at their trunks and branches. I saw orchid flowers too. I can’t stop to pose with my red raincoat…lol 

Finally, Dano said, “We are safe.” His voice and his eyes back to normal, friendly and warm. 
Praise the Lord! Thank you Jesus. Joash was incredibly good boy….he run as fast as us, no complaint, not crying. He said to his dad, ”What an adventure, daddy,” he laughed with joy. 

That evening we sat toward sunset, beautiful sky after rain. We drank local tea and my favorite snacks. We talked what we experienced that day. Olive with red raincoat run from the elephants. Hahahhhaa run and not looking back…

Yes that’s what we should do with temptation. Remember Joseph story with Potiphar’s wife?  The temptation to sleep with his master’s wife ? The scripture said, Potiphar’s wife spoke day by day to him and Joseph did not heed her.  And Joseph FLED and ran outs.  During Joseph time, the law, The 10 commandments weren’t given yet. But Joseph was exceptional, he made a choice because of His relationship with God. He made a choice to live righteous and run from temptation. He called sexual sin that Potiphar’s wife proposed was great wickedness and sin against God. (Genesis 39:8,9,10,12 NKJV)

The book of Job also have an interesting story. God called; Job was blameless and upright, and one who feared God and shunned evil. “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” ( Job 31:1 NIV) Job turned his eyes from temptation, he SHUNNED.  

There are times when temptation targeting us but there are times we make ourselves as the target for temptation, we invited temptation knowingly or out of ignorance. Like when I was wearing the red raincoat, I could invited unnecessary danger to myself. I can’t blame the raincoat brand for making a red color, I can’t sue them. They are innocent, I was the one who used it at the wrong place. 

When you are tempted don’t ever say, “God is tempting me,” for God is incapable of being tempted by evil and he is never the source of temptation. Instead it is each person’s own desires and thoughts that drag them into evil and lure them away into darkness. (James 1:13-14 TPT)

When face with temptation, it’s wise not to think I am invincible, I am immune. No you are not. So then, surrender to God. Stand up to the devil and resist him and he will turn and run away from you. (James 4:7 TPT)

The way Joseph resist temptation was by fled. The way Job resist temptation was by shunned. The way Jesus resist the temptation was by declaring the written word of God, the scriptures…He said “It is written.” Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him. (Matthew 4:11 NKJV)

There is one verse I like from Genesis 4:7b TPT: “…. But if you refuse to offer what is right sin, the predator, is crouching in wait outside the door of your heart. It desires to have you, yet you must be its master.”
In Jesus’s name, by His blood, by His resurrection power, He won. His victory is mine and yours too. 

• 

I just back home and meeting with my ‘connect group’. I’m telling them where I ‘ve been. One of them who work at the embassy said, “Olive, that’s the most beautiful war zone in the world, don’t you know that?” I didn’t know that this place have that “name”.

Let me begin: “Olive, you choose the place we are going to stay. I just followed whatever you pick.” Phia voice with excitement. Yeah…!!! Finally we are going….after booked a flight, canceled the flight…waited for the green light to fly in. The news weren’t good at all, it wasn’t safe to go. Until our contact said, “Okay guys you can come. ”The place that we want to go is “kind of close”. Very seldom people make this place as their destination due to the ‘conflict’ in it. This place at the border between three countries, constant frictions and cease fire for years. 
Why we want to go there because we already at one the country near their border so why not…..??? Also there are a group of young people who love the Lord and we were told to encourage them. Yes, we are actually very near, only 50 minutes flight.

I’m so excited as I search through the internet. All the information seems lead to the same suggestions, the safety place to stay is in a boat house. Holy Spirit help me to pick the right boat house, I prayed. I picked one with the name of big city in America. They also give us free pick up from and to the airport.

We were at the airport waiting to embark the plane. We heard the news, last night four civilians have been shot to death by soldier of other side, the place now under strict guard and curfew. Oo…Then we heard the announcement, we were walking happily to the plane. We were the only foreigners.

We landed nicely, good job mr. Pilot. A very small and simple airport. An old guy came to us, he speaks good English. He assisted us to the vehicle. Praise the Lord finally we’re in here. I noticed they were soldiers every less than a mile. The guy mentioned about the shooting last night and he explained that the place we are going to stay is the safest place. I feel peace and said to myself, good job Olive hahhahahhah.

The car stopped by the road side beside a lake. He pointed to a boat with a beautiful canopy, full of colors, it’s like the king and queen boat. We jumped it and sit at the best place. Of course we took photos… queen of the day. Only us in the boat, it’s a private boat. 

We cruised through the lake, go further and further…we passed by old wooden boat houses….seemed abandoned long time….looked like a haunted  house in the movie, I can imagine by night….dark…moving because of the wave and the wind, plus the sound of wrecking windows and door not mentioned the creeping water plant all over it…hahahhahahha.

There were other boat passed by us from the opposite direction they are friendly people, wave their hands to us. All local people….no foreigners at the side.
Then we passed a floating village, all wooden boat houses, school, market, children playing, ladies selling fruits and vegetables. A very unique village. Our boat keep cruising deeper….this must be a very big lake. 

And suddenly we arrive in a place surrounded with many beautiful boat houses….so unique, so colorful, so alluring to the eyes. Each have a big name in front of the boat, maybe that’s for the postman to deliver letters and packages, I think…  What a shock…all are the name of a cities in America. We are extremely far from the state. 

Our boat anchored at the most beautiful boat house. We both keep saying wow…wow…omg. Even they have a stairs from the boat to the veranda, they decorated with flowers. The front part is a large place with chairs and table the whole place full of pots of colorful flowers and lamps. I couldn’t believe it…am I in Europe? We went inside the boat house, wow a very cozy and big living room, with chandelier and carpet too. Dining room is great, they have whatever you need. We keep walking, we see 3 bedrooms, each with own bathrooms with shower, sink, toilet and hot water. All decorated so beautiful. We were amazed. Phia said to me,”Very good choice Olive.” 

They prepared tea and traditional delicacy for us. We sat at the living room. Surprise the tea was so so fragrance and taste so so good. I don’t drink coffee, I drink tea, I know tea, this is could be one of the most tasty tea. If you like tea, you should try Vanilla Bourbon tea so addictive. We brought our beautiful cup of tea to the front, we looked at the quiet, beautiful lake. Really what a privilege that God is bringing us to experience this. So romantic….like we are in Venice. 
I said to Phia, they said this is the most safe place if war broke out. Hmmm, maybe yes, maybe not. If the war is on the land, yes. If the war spread to the villages on the lake, we are in the boat house….where can we run? All my eyes can see is water. I don’t think I able to swim to the shore…This is only a thought.

We grab our backpack and start our adventure. The street was quiet, only few cars passed bye. The center of this place is around the lakes. I said to the driver, “Stop! Stop! Can we park in here?” “WOW! WOW! Where are we? Phia, think! This place is look like somewhere else, very similar.” It’s look like we stand at the lake of Geneva in Switzerland.  No wonder they said this is a little Switzerland. Gorgeous…!!

We visited an old fortress high in the mountain. Flowers are every where in the garden, they have huge flowers, bigger than my face….it’s true I didn’t exaggerate. Even color I never seen before. We climbed to the highest part of the fortress, a breath taking scenery over looking the town  and far behind is the lake. This beautiful fortress is still look majestic after almost 400 years old.

We discovered more places…this place is really beautiful in its simplicity. We climbed stairs on both sides full of blooming flowers, the fragrance of it feels the air. We stopped at the end and we see few people bowing down and scoop water with their hands then drank it. They said this spring never dried for hundred of years and it’s very pure water, the kings and the queens of the past took water from here, people carried it to the palace. I didn’t drink it I have my bottle water which I satisfy enough.

Then I remembered a story when Jesus purposely met the Samaritan woman at the well of Sikhar. When He introduces the water of life, when you drink from it you never thirst again, He meant was Himself the source of the living water that gives our longing soul peace, love, joy, give us life again. That’s what happened to the women, she shared the joy to others after she met the Messiah. History said she become the first evangelist woman, who also died as a martyr. Her name was Photini, meaning the luminous one.

I also remembered my dream, I was at the first year of collage. In the dream I saw a little girl walking side by side with a man, he is holding her little hand. I can’t see the man face because he is tall only see his white garment. We are walking in the garden, full of blooming flowers, all colors. The ground blanket with flowers. I see a big tree also cover with flowers, can’t see the trunk and branches because flowers all over it. I can smell the atmosphere fill of the fragrance of flowers and spring. I can feel the wind, cool and peaceful. I see a well also cover with flowers, can’t see the bricks. Amazingly beautiful. Then I woke up. In my heart I felt that God wants me to get water baptism, I already accepted Jesus but no one ever told me about water baptism. 

That morning at the college I met my best friend told her about the dream and my interpretation of it. I asked her if she baptized before? She said no. I can’t wait till the bell ring ended the class that day. Straight away we went to a house of a lady that we know she can help us. I told her that we want her help us to find pastor who’s willing to baptize us. She on the phone for few minutes, calling here and there. Then she smiled, said, ”Girls tomorrow at 3 pm go to this address find this church.” And she mention the pastor name. Yeah… thank you Jesus, thank you mam.

The next day after class we took a bus , changed  another bus, changed again, walked quite far. We never been in East part of the city, we lived in the South. We saw the church sign board. We went inside, no activity, no people. “Hallo…!” Two young girls came out, we told them who we are. The pastor came out. He was so happy to see us. He opened a small pool under the pulpit and he baptized us. The two girls sang a worship song. Just five of us. They shook our hands, “Welcome to the family of God!” My joy can’t be describe. The pastor said that we can comeback next week to get our baptism certificate. We never came back to that church and seen the pastor again. I didn’t think the certificate was important at that time. My old life was dead and now rise with Jesus. I thank God for the pastor he was so gracious willing to do the baptism for 2 girls he didn’t know at all. Bless your heart pastor. I think it’s time for me to look for you and you can see that I’m still in the Lord.

We quickly went back to our boat house before the curfew time. We sat at our royal boat. This time the sun has set. No boats passing by. The lake was dark…after sometime….Wow….the lake became bright with lights from the boat houses. So romantic.

After showered with hot water, we ate dinner, we ordered special traditional food, which they prepared when they have wedding or special occasion. The whole table full with food. Smell good…taste really delicious. We taught we can’t finished it but we did…..hungry stomach and great food, what a fit partnership. 

Because of the situation that arise we can’t do our meeting, it’s too dangerous for us and them. But we did enjoying our times there. Memory of a life time to remember. 

One morning we woke very early,  we went outside and look at the water no ripples, up the sky was still very dark no clouds, we can see stars. We both started pray for the city, for the country, for the people, for the authority. We declared unity, peace, love….speak the promises of God over this nation. We thanking God for created such a beautiful place, all the resources in the land, friendly people…We blessed and blessed. 

Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. 1 Timothy 2:1-2

We left the town, another tight security check. Again we were the only foreigners at the airport. 
We were very grateful even though we can’t accomplish what we came for. But I believe we accomplished it in the spiritual realm. 

James 5:16b The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. In different translations written: For tremendous power is released through the passionate, heartfelt prayer of a godly believer!
I believe the Word never failed.

Pray and keep praying without ceasing for your people, your country, your nation and the nations of the world. Intercede for the peaceful of your nation so you and your family will live in peace and enjoying the land that the Lord God has gives to you.

• 

Here I am outside of an airport,  waiting for Emily to pick me up as we planned. The waiting place only a bamboo roof, no wall. I’ve never been in this place, not speak the language, there were local people waiting for their family or friends pick them up. Some local taxi drivers offers me to take a taxi, the car didn’t have a taxi sign at all, I keep saying no thank you. I only see dusty ground, open field with grass, small wooden stall selling drinks. No matter what I have to wait, there was no message of change planned. But things has changed since 2 days ago. Should I keep waiting ?

This is what have happened. Two days before I got a message from Emily’s husband. She and Mary one of my friend were on the run hiding from soldiers who looked for them. Emily made her last called to say goodbye to her husband , she said probably she can’t see him and their kids anymore. I suppose to fly in 2 days from that day, I said do you want me to fly in today and look for her? He said no, let’s do according to what Emily has been arranged. Where is Emily now ? He said he didn’t know. Emily said, that evening she was in the place she stayed and Mary was outside the house. Mary saw 2 suspicious men with guns and they spoke about killing them, she knew their language. She quickly called Emily to leave the house right away, she told her to hide in the “specific” mountain and wait until someone will come and rescue her, while Mary herself run in different way and hide too.I prayed, God protects , send angels to rescue them.

And now I’m at this place of know where  waiting for Emily. One by one people were leaving, their faces were happy to meet their family. How long will I wait? I will wait as long as it took. Why? Because me and Emily has been in many dangerous trip together and we trust each other. 

Years and years ago in my many trips to “close” country, I helped people who were under persecution, brought them what they need the most the Word of God, gave them courage and love. In one of those trip I met Emily, actually she approached me first and started the conversation. Since then we took trips together, she became my big sister that I never have. 

Many amazing things we experienced. How God protected us. One time we waited at the lobby hotel, we didn’t know who we were waiting, we told someone with a blue hat. This was winter many people wearing blue hat. One young man came wearing a blue hat, he directly came to us ( he must be got the information how we look like ). He said he will walk ahead, one of us follow from a distance and the other one followed behind in a distance. So I walked the last. Where and how long I have no idea. This wasn’t an easy walk, I carried almost 40 pounds on my shoulder. We crossed big road, small streets, went inside a building came out on the other side, went another place, so many ….. till we reached a big closed hall and people gather there, when they see us they are very happy, I can feel the atmosphere of the room full of joy. They thank us many times for bringing the good news, the Word of God. 

Another time, me and Emily were at the back of a car, our two local friends were at the front. Suddenly the car was stopped by soldiers.  My friend who drove said to us do not speak English. One Soldier open the door at Emily side. He looked at us, he asked question which we didn’t understand, my friend answered. Then the soldier said passport. Emily gave hers, he told her to get out of the car. Different soldier asked my passport and told me to get down too. He walked to his leader I guest, what ever they spoke I didn’t have a clue but wherever the soldier who have my passport walked I follow him closely. After sometime they returned my passport and Emily too. They lets us go and smile. Praise the Lord! Since the car was stopped we been praying in our heart. Thank you Jesus for answering our prayer. My local friends asked me why I keep following the soldier. I said if he wanted hold my passport, I will grab it and run. I need my passport to get out of the country. They laughed of my bravery, Emily knows me, I will do it and she too.

Maybe in different story I will tell you my “scary and dangerous” trip to help people. 

Back to Emily….After sometime she and her husband moved to a new country and started helping refugees especially children who lost their parents and families cause by war. And I came and help too. 

What happened was 2 days ago they were moving children orphan refugees who were under their care from the refugees camp. Many were born there and will live there for the rest of their life if there isn’t a third country accept them or they go back to their origin country. I know a woman , her name is Tuesday she was born in the camp and now she is 32 years old. Btw the camp is not like you think. I stayed in this camp before when I visited the children. It’s in the mountain, jungle, bamboo house, no electricity, no proper toilet, I slept with my sleeping bag. They only have vegetables when we brought in. 

We think this children will have better future if they can go back to their own country and live in a safe town so they can go to school and pursue their dream. They left the camp walked through the jungle to a river and took a boat. All are children, the family of the care takers  and few women. The opposition authority didn’t like it they tried to stop the children half way with soldiers. Then praise the Lord, the other authority came and rescue the children and local people help with housing and food temporary. We still didn’t know where the children are because we told them to go to certain city but they cannot reach there now. That night when they sent soldiers to kill Emily and Mary, they were in different place far from the children.

I see a car stop near the waiting place and one face I know came out. She was looking, I pulled my bag and called her. I didn’t know she is in the country, she must be flying in when she heard the news, I guest. She speak in low voice, in the car don’t say anything about what happened. I nodded. We arrived at a big, nice hotel. Hmmmm this isn’t the name of the hotel I wrote in my arrival card and when the immigration asked me I gave the name of the hotel I’ve been told. Usually we stayed in a cheap hotel. We went in to a room….I saw Emily and Mary there. We hugged and burst into joy. They are saved, glory to God.

We talked about the situation of the children. By then we knew where they are. We have to see them, find out about their well being, what’s our next step for them, so many things. Emily looked at me, “Olive will you go with me to see the children? I can’t go alone. If you go I will go. You know the risk. We both might not came back.” I answered without thinking twice, “Yes, let’s go Emily! We can do this together.” All of us in the room we spent time pray and thanking God.

One of our local friend said, “Get ready the car is coming, they will take you to the village where the children are. Do not give any money to the driver.” Emily and I went inside the car with 2 young man who didn’t speak English, whom we didn’t know at all. We been told it’s about 16 to 18 hours drive. So here we are in the car with total strangers in the country we don’t speak the language, going to a place we don’t know. We stopped for a meal, we followed these 2 young man, they ordered the food we ate whatever on the table, didn’t say anything and didn’t pay either. They make stop every 3 hours I guest, every time Emily asked, what is this place? Anyway we didn’t have a clue where was it. They drove very fast through the whole night. We prayed Lord Jesus keep them awake and drive safe.

Around 5 am they stopped at a small guest house. They signed us to get down. Then left us. We never seen them again until now. We check in, the receptionist knew we are coming, he handed us the key. We prayed, showered and sleep. We woke up for breakfast. Then we wait…we don’t know where to go or what’s next. By ten someone came, we didn’t know him. He told us to ride in the car. He drove to a beautiful villages, really beautiful place, there are rocks mountain in between. He stopped at a nice wooden big house, we came down and the children running out of the house hugging us one after another. They all in good condition. We were ecstatic with joy. 

They are really strong children, they are young in age but in certain responsibility they are like an adult. They take care of each other. They are strong and brave children, some saw when the soldiers back then killed their parents, some saw how their parent and neighbors stepped on a mine that the soldiers spread in their fields. Some saw how the soldiers kidnap the young boys in their village and use them as mine sweepers. They gone through situation which other children at their age in others countries playing happily with their parents and siblings and go freely to school. They have to run for their life , hide in the jungle eat anything to keep survive.  I knew one young boy, he was so sad loose his own sister he cried and cried, his heart so broken, then he lost his sound mind. 

After hugging them I ran to the wooden house, looked from room to room I was looking for one girl. At the camp two girls became very closed to me, since the first time I was visiting the camp these two girls were always following me every where. I could not find Timna. I went outside and ask Wantin. She said Timna decided not to left the camp, she feared of unknown future outside the camp. Broke my hearts. 

In the afternoon we took the children to small stall selling drinks and ice cream. They ate anything, they laughed and laughed. This was the first time they are out in free place. 
Now they are all in school, local authority gave them ID card. They can pursue their dream and live as normal kid in freedom. I did asked Emily can we go back to the camp and find Timna. She said is hard and very dangerous after what happened. I never heard news about her again. 

When Emily asked me, “Will you go with me?” We were willing to risk our life because we think of the children, we want them to have a better future, we want them live in freedom of fear. We want them to be happy. But it’s still a free choice if they want to hold our hands or let go. Like Timna.

Will I do it again? Yes definitely thousand times. My Jesus came a long away willingly to rescue me when I was a teenager going to fell from a high cliff. He willingly be me on that cross. Loves conquered. I was confused of my uncertainty future. He gave me hope and purpose.

Dear friends, you can do too. Open your eyes and heart to people around you. You can safe abandon children, abuse women and children, and others. Will you go? Please go. Start with one. When you see the joy in their face you will do it again and again. Challenges and obstacles won’t matter anymore. Loves conquer.

Will you go? Will you go? I know you will go. Thank you my friend.

It was the beginning of Spring when me and my 2 friends took a trip to one of the most closed countries in the world, country of happiness, where people lives in peace.

We drove at the small road between mountains and very beautiful Magnolia flowers were everywhere a long the road….forest of Magnolia trees….big flowers and many colors. We keep stopping to take photos. 

By tea time we arrived at a small village in the mountain. After we put our bags, we walked to a small “cafe”, the only one in there. Surprisingly it was nice and so cozy. We sat near the big open window to get clear gaze at the amazing scenery and feel the cool breeze of air.We ordered traditional cake and special tea with yalk milk. Very rich taste and addictive should I say…..hahhahahhah.

We didn’t plan much for this trip, we just talked, packed our bag and go.Only airline from their country can landed there and pilots from their own people, due to stiff landing and narrow airstrip, it’s between the mountains. We really flew between mountains with snow….everyone of us on the window taking photos. One of the trips I will never ever regretted in my life.One trips where we took thousand of photos. 

Back to our cozy cafe. I’m so thankful for this moment. I remembered open a book of the history of their king and queen. The king was 17 years old when he met his future wife at the age of 7 years old at a picnic. The future king said, When she grew up and if they were both single and in love, he would marry her.Indeed she became the queen, 14 years later.What a romantic life story….Wow she will never regretted came to the picnic.

“Olive were there things that you regretted in your life?”my friend asked.I began to open the bank of my memories brain. Looking back many years behind. I took a zip of my tea, took a breath….began my story.

🥀When I was at 7th grade I have a best friend, her name was Patricia. She was new at our school. She sat behind me since then we always together, we hiked, we went swimming, played squash, badminton and many other fun activities. One day she sadly told me her mom got cancer and her dad is going to take her  to the hospital overseas.Everyday she updated me about her mom. One night she called me her mom passed away. I came to her house and be with her. She has no chance to see her mom for the last time. Took a week till her dad and mom arrived. My mom called me she said I can’t come to the funeral, she gave me reason that I believe that time but now I don’t see any truth in it.Obeying my mom I didn’t show up at all at Patricia place. Monday morning when we met at school the first sentence she said,”Where were you when I need you?” I’m sorry, so sorry that’s all I can said.  We still best friend but if time could be reversed I want it badly. 

🥀I was at 11th grade, I took a night bus to the mountain visiting my far relative. I’ve the news she was in deep stressed not seeing anyone and didn’t talk.Half way the bus stop for a coffee break. I didn’t know where I am, what town is this? All just dark, the light only came from few small restaurant. I went down the bus heading to the toilet, it was located at far backside of the restaurant. I passed by a wall and a girl sat on the floor with a dirty bucket, I saw she was crippled with crutches on the floor, obvious she was begging for money.
After I done I have to pass by her again. I remembered very clearly, I heard the voice said: tell her, money I don’t have but in the name of Jesus rise and walk. I was shocked for the voice, I stopped…..am I hearing correctly? Should I do it? What if nothing happened? I will be ashamed. People will look at me as a crazy girl. Many more questions and answers rush in my mind in a short time. I looked at her then I continue walking to the bus.In the bus I still thinking , should I come down and say the word….these words playing hundreds time like a broken recording in my heart.Seems like my butt glue to the surface of my sit. I made no movement until the bus moving. 
Now I already seen many miracles, blind see, deaf ears open, lame walk, mute speak, legs growing, cancer heal and many more. When I prayed I spoke the words, God did the miracles. I didn’t have fear if nothing happened because it’s not me it’s Jesus.I wish that time I have a courage and better understanding, how much He loves people and He is the God who healed. There was time when I think, what would happened to the girl if I obeyed, she maybe already running around and shout thank you Jesus…thank you Jesus. I only can wish…yes I regretted.

🥀My dad passed away not long after I gave birth to my second child El Prince, thank God he still sees my son. He got stroked years before and many other complications came after that. He lived on his own on a rent place, I never once came to see the place. Once a week, sometimes twice a week and on special occasion he came to my house. He did careless actions in his life that lead him to this.Because of his irresponsibility the whole family suffered.  But he still loves me and remember my birthday, my daughter Rose birthday and bought her toy.Me and my brothers gave him money every week.  When he became more sick he choose to stay with me, which I’m grateful that he wanted to be near me.
Why I didn’t let him stay with me from the beginning because I choose my mom, if I good to my dad, I’m going to loose my mom whom I love, she worked very hard day and night to feed us all and gave us good education. She sew clothes, she made food and sell, she sold towels, pan and pots….anything that can become money for us to keep living. We stayed in a house of no electricity and water. We went to our neighbors to ask for water and studied when there is light once the sun goes down we all sleep and rise early. Life was so difficult, so tuft. 
We have to face debt collectors not only at home, they came to my school….embarrassing and shame on my face.Years after my dad passed away I regretted  why I never seen his place, did he had food enough? Did his place comfortable enough?  Who helped him when he was sick ? Many more regretted questions…. he must be very lonely…how did he pass the times waiting for Sunday to meet us. He must be counting days of my birthday, Rose’s  birthday,  New Year,  Christmas…..etc
I did forgive him long long ago…I wish I could tell him what has happening in my life those years.  No matter my reason were, I should be more caring. I cried….cried whisper my pray to God, Abba Father please tell my dad in Heaven, Olive is very sorry and tell my dad to forgive me.

I paused, took a bite of the cake….this carrot cake was really good then drink my tea.

🥀Another regret was years that I didn’t give much time to my mom and my siblings. My life was like hell on earth but I have to make it like Heaven for others to see. I was fighting to keep on living for my children. I have to make sure woke up every day to be there for my children. I can’t tell anyone. I wanted to scream…. help me….help me….. I have to be super strong…I have to do all by myself. I believed that my siblings misunderstood me as pride and arrogant.Thorn (my ex husband) never wanted to involved with my family, avoiding family gatherings, I was tired lying with all kinds of excuses why he didn’t come.Force to pretend broke my soul and spirit. My mom stayed with me…even I didn’t say a word, she knew….she told them Olive not like you guys think, pray for Olive. Thank you mom…I love you…you are the best.

🥀Something was very wrong in my marriage, I was treated like a trash, verbal abused was my daily bread. One time Thorn lied to my face but didn’t admit it, he hit me on my face and head many times, smash the plates and bang the table.Lord I forgive him, I forgive him every night I prayed. I woke up with new heart and he smashed again…. that was my pitiful life for decades.
One day…. I run from home. This was my second time.I took a taxi and didn’t know where to go, I just knew my childhood place and find a small hotel. For days Thorn  didn’t looking for me, he didn’t look for me either the first time. My good friends whom also his friend was looking for me every where. One morning he showed up at my hotel, talked me out and asked me to go home, Rose was three. My friend said she needs a father. Come back, forgive him. So I back home and stayed for another 20 more years in this marriage.I didn’t regret marrying him, I did love him. But I regretted not run further and disappear from him forever. Maybe you are confusing now…. regret and not regret. I regretted not able to protect my children Rose and El Prince from Thorn abusing words, lied, intimidation, manipulation….bring fear to us.He never closed to his children, only talk to them through me. Think back I should brought Rose and El Prince run, never turning back. Thorn gave us really thorn, deep wounds. 

That’s all of my regret that I can remember. Hmmm…. not much regret in my life.I thought I will have long list of it. Wow my life wasn’t bad after all.
Most of it were related to family…. I guest my core value is family. I love my family. I want to be there for them. 

My Father God is the same. He loves family, value relationship. God didn’t want to loose us for eternity so He brought Heaven down. He sent His only Son that He loves the most to the world. He wanted to be near us his children. He took my sins, transgressions, curses, sickness and diseases on the cross, He died as me. They caught Him, put Him in a dungeon prison. He mocked, spitted,slapped, beaten, put a crown of thorn on His head, scourge His back, nailed His hands and feed, made Him carried the cross and crucified Him naked at Golgotha, pierce His side. He bleed, His back was broken, flesh were cut open. His face people despised. Jesus suffered much beyond I can imagine, normal human being probably already fainted many times but He kept conscious.

That moment Jesus see me in the future with His loving eyes.

That moment Jesus think of me, knowing what I am able to accomplish.

That moment Jesus wants His heart beat in my heart.

Now I understand Hebrew 12:2

Who  for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (NKJV)

His example is this: Because his heart was focused on the joy of knowing that you would be his, he endured the agony of the cross and conquered its humiliation, and now sits exalted at the right hand of the throne of God! (TPT)

YES….YES….!!! Because of me Olive, Abba Father’s daughter. I am the joy of God. He treasures and protects His sons and daughter. He never regretted loving me and you.

We were walking to our place for the night. I raised my hands up high in the air and sing….It’s happy day….it’s a happy day…..smoke came out from my mouth….very cold weather but very warm in my heart.

• 

My mom and dad could not wait to see me face to face, they waited for long and excited 9 months. And I was born in the holiday season all over the world, they gave me a beautiful name Olive means peace, for them is a sign of fruitfulness, a joyful blessing for their life. Indeed it was true, my whole life I heard my mom said to me thousand times that since I was at her womb my parents moved to a new place then when I was born I get to ride in their new car on the way home from the hospital. Everything were new for me, many gifts and loved.

My mom and dad always said that I was very smart, they noticed it since I was just a baby. I guessed it’s very true, throughout my school days from primary school to high school my friends knew me as one of the smart kid, they came to me for math, science, chemist etc, for their homework, if they didn’t understand the teacher they came to me and I helped teaching them. I always get a great grade, rank in the class never miss it every semester. When I finished high school, I’ve got called by the best university in my country without I even applied. Praise the Lord.

My childhood was wonderful, my dad bought me every toy that he could buy. Not only a bicycle, he bought me roller blades, he bought me go-cart; a small car usually for a boy, every evening before the sun set I race with it on the road at my neighborhood, other kids were waiting to borrow from me. 

When I was 2 years old I have a brother, 2 years after him another brother then another brother and lastly a sister. So far that I can remember my parents love me the most compared to my brothers and sister. 

I remember I was 6 years old, that afternoon I played at my friend’s house nearby my house, she is older than me. She has many collection of children comics, I never read a comic book, she let me read and I can bring home too, I was so happy.  I didn’t know wether I can read a comic or not so I hid it and my dad found it. I was so scared but he didn’t angry at all. I told him I only borrowed.He left the house with his car, less then an hour he backed with a big box.  He called me, told me to open it. When I opened the box I shout happily wow…wow the whole box full of comic books. He was laughing happily too, he didn’t angry, he went and bought comic books to surprise me. He said do not borrow anymore. Every week he came home with big box of more books.I read all Hans Christian Anderson books, Five series and The Secret Seven by Enid Blyton, The Adventures of Tintin by Herge, Asterix by R Goscinny & A Uderzo, Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin…many more. I love reading. As I grow more book I read, my dad keep gave me money to buy … The Hobbit, Around the world in 80 days by Jules Verne, Moby Dick by Herman Melville, The Adventurers of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carol, Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift, The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R.Tolkien, Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe, Winnetou by Karl May. Of course all the Marvel books. Many novels and more more books.Never I remembered my dad bought books for my siblings they only read book that I have. 

Every birthday my parents invited my friends to come and have a celebration, never failed. My mom is a good tailor, she always made me beautiful princess dress. Once I can’t forget, she made me a long pink lace dress like a little princess at the castle , like stories I read in the book. My dad ordered special birthday cake from the best bakery in town, every kids will get goody bags. When I teenager before my birthday my dad gave me money, he said go and eat with your friends.  Even when he already bankrupt and we were poor he always gave me money for my birthday. I didn’t remember he did the same to my siblings. My dad always remember my birthday date not so to my siblings, often he came to me and ask is today my brother birthday? He remembered the month but not the date.  I felt so loved and so special.

I was 7 years old, my mom told me to get ready, my dad want to take me watch Disney on ice. We got the front seat, my mom said dad got it from his friend in the government, he wants me to see without others in front of me. Wow!! My dad loves me so much. 
My dad was working as a contractor at the palaces, there are more than one palace , in different cities. Saturday was exciting day for me , my dad will take me to the palace, show me around and see where he works, introduce me to his friends. I remembered during school holiday, he had a job at a palace in different city, he took me a long and we stayed in that palace, very big room, just out side my room there was a beautiful pool full of water lily blossom morning and evening. We went out for dinner together just me and dad then back to the castle …. really I was a little princess. 
I think I loved the most by my parents.

When I was born again and I told him about Jesus. He quickly showered and went to a prayer meeting I told him, since that day he accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior, daily read his bible, didn’t know how many times he changed to a new bible because the previous one the pages were torn ‘cause he read it many many times.
When I wanted to serve the Lord full time, my parents fully supported me, my dad went with me to the ministry place to see the place and the people there. Before he left he asked if I have money. 
At the end of his life he wanted to stay with me.

I read many times in the gospel of John, it written 4 times: the discipline whom Jesus loved.

– John 13:23 after washing of the disciple feet, John was leaning on Jesus.

– John 20:2 when Peter and John run to the tomb on the resurrection morning.

– John 21:7 when the disciple went out for fishing after Jesus resurrection and they caught nothing.

– John 21:20 when Peter was asking to Jesus what about this man (John)?

The sentence about the disciple whom Jesus loved is point to John himself as the author of the gospel of John and never mentioned in the other three Mark, Matthew and Luke.John personalize Jesus loves to himself, as he was the only disciple whom Jesus loved. Of course Jesus loved all of His disciples, beyond that Jesus loves all of us, He died on the cross and risen. It is finished.
The same with me, my mom and dad. Of course they loved my siblings. They bought them clothes, shoes, they payed for their studies, all graduated from university and get their master degree as well. 

I personalize their love to me, I’m the most loved one, it makes me understand more how deep they love me, what they have done for me to make me a successful and better daughter.How much more our Jesus, what he had finished on the cross He did it with love individually for each one of us.The scripture said for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross…Hebrew 12:2. When He hang on the cross He already look at me, Olive and died as me and I risen with Him. It brings Him joy to see I am save. 

As my parents made me their princess,  now I am Abba Father’s princess. Yes, Olive is His daughter whom Jesus loved, whom Abba Father’s loved. I’m declaring it every day.

Friends, you are son and daughter whom Jesus loved, whom Abba Father’s loved. Yes you are.

• 

“Let’s take a walk before dinner,” my friend said.
I don’t have sport shoes, I put on the most comfortable sandals I have.
It was the beginning of summer, the weather was nice the cold breeze blow.
We are walking toward west by the side of the lake.
We passed by some men tried to catch fish to bring home for dinner.

“ Before I moved in here, I have a good friend” my friend Phia started her story.
* Her name is Jinny, she was a smart girl, she has many friends everywhere. Her parents were great bring envy for others children, they are so lovely.
Money was never an issue, she studied overseas and graduated excellence. Her future is going to be bright. She was a kind hearted girl, optimist and confident.

Jinny got married and have 3 children. She was continuing working reached the top of her career. Her three children were good. Her husband was prefect too. Five of them always together.

Then I moved to this country and lost contact of Jinny.
Last year I went back home visiting my uncles. Had reunion with my classmates, Jinny was not there.
Then I heard stories of her life. Phia took a pause.

We walked approaching the lakeside, black swans swimming in a small group…wow so beautiful. The whole lake was like a large opera house, the black swans dancing gracefully moved from one place to another, turning around the water plants. Their black color shine under the radiant of the sun upon the water.
It was beautiful to watch, we stood there capturing the moment.

As we back to our walk, she continued her story.
Phia immediately visited Jinny at Psychiatric hospital. It was a shocking news she heard about her friend.
To her surprised Jinny remember Phia. Her face was happy, big smile. She remembered their friendship. She remembered almost everything that happened in her life. She looks healthy, beside her face looked much older than her age.

This was what happened to Jinny.
When people looked at her smooth life, successful. Actually she was trying her best to stand strong and live normal. Be the best mother to her three children, not wanting them to know her struggles.
The man who was her husband only exist on legal paper. In the real life Jinny was the bread provider, the main pillar of all. Both play their roll well for the sake of their children, family, friends and outside world.
Her husband was a womanizer, hit her if Jinny won’t give what he wanted and abused words. Intimidated her to the max.
Don’t know how many times she broke down, buckets of tears. Feeling hopeless and bounced back again, thinking of her children made her stronger.

One day her husband brought a woman into their home.
No matter how hard she tried, all failed.
That woman stayed in her house, slept on her bed, ruled the whole household.

Many times Jinny said to herself,” Be patient Jinny, this won’t be long. My husband will come back to me.”
Three years past very fast, the situation was getting worse.
In her desperate moment, in deep hopelessness she took whole bunch of pills and cut herself.

She was unconscious when her colleague found her in her office, blood was thick dripping on the floor.
Ambulance came.
Jinny life was safe but her consciousness never back to normal.
Her memory stayed in the past, when deep hurt not there, where only the memory of her school days.

Her husband put her in mental institution. Never visited her.
Her children visited her from time to time, many times she can’t remember them.

Often when fear grip her, felling abandoned, she can’t control herself.
Medication become her daily priority to keep her calm.

Phia finished her story. We sat down on a bench watching the sunset above the water. So peaceful and beautiful.

Phia looked at me. “I wish Jinny have a faith like you Olive. You’ve been through ten times difficulties than her in every way. If I’m in your situation I probably in mental institution, but you in here smiling, encourage other, live a life full of hope.”

Yes it’s true. My life was rock bottom. Cheated, betrayed, lied, abused, accused,…,
I cried a lot, even if my mind didn’t think of anything tears just run down my cheek.
I can’t even talk to anyone, fear was my daily food. Very very in deep fear.

One things I hold fast, the hands of God. Until I realize actually Abba Father hands hold my hands, His hands, His grips are stronger than mine.
If it was my own strength, I already died of commit suicide.
At one of the darkest and depressed night. I stood on my balcony wall, ready to jump and end all this problems. This wasn’t the first time, been many times. And every time death is getting nearer and nearer.
When I was at the edge, I heard a voice said, what your children will remember of their mother?
If I died of commit suicide for the rest of their life that’s what they gonna remember of me, that their mom died jump from the balcony of their house.
They can’t remember the good times we shared together. We went for holidays, pray together. How I thought them to read, write, counting, playing chest, uno, monopoly and many games. How I love them so much. How I teach them to pray, read the Word, to care for others.
All beautiful and precious memories are gone only left the sad and shameful memory, mom left us alone and kill herself.

I was screaming in my heart, cried and cried. I didn’t want my children remember me like that. I went down from the balcony wall.
God hands safe me again.

What had happened to me was bad, I choose to anchor my life in Jesus.
His words said:
” Don’t worry or surrender to your fear.” John 14:1 TPT
God will greatly glorified through what happens to me. John 13:31 TPT

Let’s pray together:
Abba Father thank you for loving me even when I was in my mother womb. You formed every bone in my body. You saw who You created me to be before I became me. The number of days You planned for me were already recorded in Your book. Every single moment You are thinking of me.
Thank you, Your mightiest hands hold me, I’m in You, I am saved.
Thank you, You never let go of my hands.
Thank you for raise me up again and again. Amen

I the name of Jesus, I speak blessing, I speak favor, I speak life, abundant life. I speak love and peace over me, my loves one, my children and people who hurt me.
I love you Abba Father, I love you Jesus king of kings, I love you Holy Spirit God.

We walked back home, the sun rest on this part of the world, rise on the other part of the world, giving assurance of God faithfulness. Our heart full of assurance of Abba God loves.